The Super Market Conundrum

I love to go to the grocery store. I never leave without getting more than what is on my list. I shop with a basket. This generally leads to me testing the weight capacity and integrity of said basket. I’ve ended up hauling around 50 pounds of groceries and getting an arm workout in the process. But a basket is a must if I’m to have an enjoyable shopping experience. The basket allows me to move more freely throughout the store without obstruction. A frustration avoided. I dare imagine maneuvering a cart down the bread/condiment aisle. What a nightmare.

On a standard visit I am in a Zen-like state browsing the aisles for new and exciting things. Always awaiting the next product to jump into my basket. Enjoying the music, the people, and the sights. Occasionally encountering a friend or someone I haven’t seen in years. We share short pleasantries and continue on with our shopping. A truly blissful experience. One that most people fail to appreciate, my wife included.

But things have changed. Now I seem destined to run into the people I wish to see the least. If it were just the once, I would write it off as bad luck. No. Repeatedly my high spirits are crushed under foot. My cheerful disposition fouled immediately. These joyless souls intent on making everyone else as miserable as they. What once was a carefree stroll through the aisles is now an anxiety-ridden rush to make it out alive. How have these people ruined one of the great joys of my life and what am I to do about it?

Do I choose to do my shopping elsewhere and pray for the best? Give up my stomping grounds? Let the negative nellies win? You bet I’m not!!!!! No option is defeat! Next time I run into one of the wretched rubbish I will be so obnoxiously uplifting that they are shaken by my joy. I will combat unhappiness with happiness. Perhaps next time they will be the ones avoiding me. Maybe they will find a new place to shop. Bring their unwanted misery elsewhere. I will not stand for it! I will persevere!!!

At least I better. Bekah sure as heck will not be shopping for groceries and I guess we will starve.

Jalapeño

I was trying to mimic a meal from one of my favorite places to dine. I screwed up by substituting jalapeño bacon for applewood bacon. Pepper jack cheese, over green chilies.

Teriyaki filet mignon with some sriracha asparagus. A real treat.

HEB stuffed salmon w/ broccoli jalapeño cheese. If you haven’t noticed, I also use a lot of sriracha sauce.

A divisive meal. This was an experiment that I really enjoyed. Lots of the same ingredients that go into King Ranch Chicken. Bekah said, and I quote: “This is too hot! It’s the f***ing jalapeños! How many did you use?” Well I used five. A little dramatic. I’m apparently trying to kill my wife. I thought I was showing some restraint. I told her she can cook all next week and we can have bland food. At least I liked this meal.

Chicken Spaghetti Squash. And yes, I threw jalapeños in this against great protest. The argument being you can’t put jalapeños in Italian food. Says who?