Dream Myself Awake

I have NOT been sleeping. That insomnia I’ve talked about? It’s making it’s self known again. My eye has twitched for at least a month. Lovely, let me tell you. If I seem foggy brained it’s because I am. If I do not remember a conversation it’s because the off button was hit. I’ve been the walking dead. I might not appear it, but I put on a good show. Look close next time you see me. Look at that left eye. Maybe you will catch a twitch. Ugh.

What do you do, you ask? You just f***ing go with it is what you do. I have a sleep cocktail? It puts me down but doesn’t keep me down. Drinking? Questionable. I have narcotics the doctor supplies me with for these troubles. Do I take them? No. I don’t want to be reliant on them. From prior experience, once you go down that road you can’t find dreamland without them. I’ll admit to popping one out of dire frustration. You do what you gotta do. You would think I’d crash out of pure exhaustion but that’s not the case.

I have had dreams in which I’m viewing myself from above sleeping. They are the most peaceful yet disturbing dreams ever. I say disturbing because who wants to see themself drooling on a pillow. And because it’s just not happening!!! I’m not sleeping!!! The dreams are taunting me. It’s just cruel!! Is my subconscious just having a good laugh? Mean b******.

Cure this eye twitch.

The week started off with a surprise, bad weather. I was looking at the radar thinking WTH. Where did this come from. Suddenly the weather radio goes crazy barking at us and all sorts of alerts pop up. My phone told me to seek shelter I was going to die so I decided to be a little late going into work. I drove in the rain and eventually went home to wait it out. We didn’t actually ever get anything but a nice gloomy morning and some much cooler temperatures. Rolling thunder was a relaxing background noise to enjoy. Nice light sprinkles. It was peaceful for a Monday morning.

My office was also treated to a cake thanks to Jamie. Bruce wanted one for his sweet tooth and she came through. Made Janine’s morning. She was trying to start a diet and just had a single hard boiled egg for breakfast and she was treated to delicious cake. Pretty funny how that happens. Heathen coworker cut into before I could get a proper picture. Beast. Moving paper comes with a heavy price.

By the end of the day we finally got some rain. Once again, unexpected. But it came down and out of the East. It thundered & lightninged. Weather radio went crazy again. . It was beautiful. It was measurable. Bekah was irritated because we had started a movie and I bailed out of excitement. I’m sorry, you can pause a movie but not a storm.

I’m still adjusting to Jimmy being back at work. It hasn’t been a month yet and he was pretty much gone for 8 months caring for his wife. I feel his grief for her, it’s palpable in the office. But the change he brings to the office. It’s noisier. It’s stinkier. I’ve already had to type 911 in Jabber for a rescue call. ALREADY!! Poor guy, but I just can’t on some days. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy…. “Eye’s rolling out of my f***ing head”.

For a week stuck in the office, the weeks I hate the most, it was actually pretty great. I was able to escape a few time and visit with friends across campus. I couldn’t complain. After work the plan was to hit the couch after dinner and watch a new horror film that was released on this date. Take it easy because we have a lot to do Saturday. Well, Bekah had other plans and hit the bar for almost 3 hours. Adjustments made, we still hit the couch and watched that movie. Cheers!!!

Jalapeño

Chilaquiles verdes. Oh my lord I over did it. Carb overload. The meal itself was amazing. Probably could have used one egg, in retrospect. I was a bloated mess. Sooo good.

Pizza casserole? Sure. What a healthy Sunday.

Pulled pork lettuce tacos. Third meal with this pork and it’s just as good.

Salmon and broccoli cheese. The Broccoli was the real treat.

Chicken yakatori with some miso snap peas.

Bekah made some red enchilada chicken. It has been a long time.

Burger tacos. WTH, why not.

Cocktail of the Week: pina calada buzz ball?? New to me.

Let The Camps Begin!!! Yay Summer!

So it’s that time of year, summer camps. You have basket ball camp. I wanted to have a seizure just hearing all the bouncing balls. You have skills camp. Robots and s***. Writing camp. Sounds like someone made mommy and daddy mad. Band camp!! Everyone’s favorite, that and camp. With the COVID restrictions lifted everyone gets to have fun again. We all so sadly missed the camps last year. Such a glorious time to be alive.

In truth it has very little effect on my life. I don’t share a building with camps. My dear friends that do, they are overwhelmed with joy. I see them and they are all smiling like the Cheshire Cat. It must hurt their faces to be that happy. You can certainly tell that having a year without camps must have been traumatic. Summer camps are the drug they need to make it through the year. Who doesn’t need a drum line right outside the window at 8AM to motivate you to make it through the day. So blessed they are and probably don’t even know it. How jelly I am. Super jelly. They have it so well made sharing buildings with a bunch of noisy little kids running around encouraged to make more noise. Sad the camps have to eventually end.

With summer camps upon us summer decided to finally show itself. It got HOT and disgusting. It was oppressive. All the worse because the week before was so beautiful. I just don’t 100 degrees. Bekah is excited by the idea. She is a monster. Only a monster could get excited about being outside when it’s that hot. Being in water is another thing. The days I wish I had a pool and than I remember why I’m glad that I don’t.

So the rest of the week I was all on my own. Bekah took off to New Mexico with her sister for mother-in-law birthday . I’m sure they will have a great time. I was already bored. I’m not used to being alone on a work night. WTH!!! The Hotel bar is closed.

Friday finally arrived and I got up to get burritos for everyone. The day was surprisingly nice, minus the heat. I had a fun day. No angry Leroy storming around and cussing. That’s it’s own kind of fun but after a while it gets old. Janine and I just joked around most the day. My blood sugar was whacky so I at things, like wa wa melon, that I can’t usually eat. Yellow one at that. I’d been eyeballing them at the store for a little while. Delicious and refreshing on a warm summer day. I played taxi for a couple stranded friends in the heat. That’s all she wrote. Have a happy beautiful weekend!!!

Reflections are only your memories.

Jalapeño.

Steak bites with peppers and onion, grilled asparagus and potatoes.

Zachos. Thanks again to Jamie & Derek for their garden. You just cannot make these with store zucchini. It isn’t happening. Not how I’d like it anyway. For the first batch of the season I went with fajita chicken & beans. Topped with cheese, lettuce, tomato & jalapeño. Delightful.

I made Pad Thai!!! With chicken. It was just a last min deal. Damn was it good. The chicken I made surprised even I. Warm. I eat warm when Bekah is gone.

Cheese tortellini w/Italian sausage and homemade sauce. I was afraid the Italian sausage would over power so I went with breakfast sausage after getting some advice. I’ve gotten my noodle fix in. It was amazing and I’ll be making it for Bekah.

40: A Weekend Blog

Birthday Jam: “State Of The Art” by Jim James

It’s been a bit since my birthday fell on a weekend. Oddly I was kind of disappointed that it did. I’d gotten to like coming to work and hearing everyone wish me happy birthday. I wouldn’t have thought that I’d like the attention, but I have some really great campus friends. Makes you feel kind of special. They don’t call it a family for nothing. I was in a little bit of a funk but by the end of the day I got a surprise! Giant cookies!! Cake!! Balloon!! A PINWHEEL!!!! (If you read this blog you know I’m easily entertained.). I have some amazing friends. Although, considering all the sweets that they gave me I wonder if they don’t have some kind of insurance policy against my life. You know, diabetic. Their kind gesture really turned my day around.

Bekah got us a little bed & breakfast downtown to make it feel like we were elsewhere so after work I went home and got something together. I said we can’t go to places that we normally go. I don’t want it to feel like just another weekend.

So the place was pretty awesome. We had a kegerator in the lounge. Free beer!!! They put balloons all over the bed, a bottle of wine and a small cake for it being my birthday. Like I needed more cake. Haha. We moved everything in and had some beers.

Follow this up with some strolling around downtown and a little bit of dinner. Dinner was pretty great. I don’t know how I finished the burger and onion rings but I did. I left bloated on food and beers. Off to a good start.

After dinner we shambled a few blocks back to our state of residence. From their more drinks were consumed and just good times. Bekah ended up falling asleep and I found myself alone in the lounge drinking free beer. I’m not against that. I made it to midnight. 40 I was. That being said, this old man needed to go to bed.

I slept in but it seem Bekah did not. I woke to an empty room. God d*** was this king size bed comfy. I’m not going to like my own bed after this. So bekah came back. She surprised me with a burrito!!! Just what I needed. And my birthday wish came true. She kept asking what I wanted and I kept saying a pony. Well, she got me a pony. lol.

We walked around down town. Made our way to the “downtown” museum. Pretty good experience with some nice art. I’m a fan of art. I was told I’m a geek while taking pictures of the clouds when we left. I do take lots of cloud pictures. Am I a geek? Probably. From there we just moved around downtown. Weird stores, refuel on drinks, more walking.

Late lunch pizza for 2 and we ordered 3. The beers were good. It was about 4 when we finished. Dinner at 6? Haha. Lord. Bloated weekend.

I also got a cake!!!!

So we roamed the town some more. Weird little shops and random watering holes & food. No direction. Oh. Let’s get some beans. And a old fashion!!

Dinner was entertaining. We went to Bekah’s old stomping ground. Her old boss was working the bar. The mayor of our little town. Bekah hates her. So it was great fun seeing them chat it up. I must also note that Bekah had the musician (if you can call him that) sing me happy birthday. Highlight of my day, let me tell you. No one even sang along. Rude.

We walked/stumbled back to the room. However you want to look at it. The night had pretty much ran it’s course. We had a few more drinks and just a general good time. I had a good 40th birthday. I didn’t know what to expect out of the weekend but it was all good. Just wondering around downtown. Drinking and eating. Conversation with random people. My wife Bekah did a good job. And I got a pony!!!!

Sunday it was time to pack up and head home. I figured I’d have one last beer in the lounge. Why the f*** not. I liked the smile I got from the old fellow I met late Friday drinking when he wondered in for some coffee. I could tell that if he had been younger and didn’t have to travel he would like to be joining me.

We got home and had some drinks with the sister-in-law. She had been staying at our house while gone keeping Samson the cat company. Her own little stay-cation. We went for brunch. I was feeling my age. Actually, I wasn’t. I was feeling pretty good. I had some chicken and waffles. I wondered if my sister-in-law wasn’t about to kill my wife. Bekah was pushing buttons being as obnoxious as humanly possible. I’d have been okay with it. Given a high five. Lord.

Made it back home and she crawled into bed. I went and got a box of Mac & cheese. Dinner prep. It’s going to be hot. I don’t like that. Summer had to come. She came late.

I really missed our dogs. Being at home without them is just kind of sad. My mother said her birthday present was taking care of them it’s tooooooo quiet without the 2 goofs. I’m sure they had themselves a good time. Bekah said they were so excited when she dropped them off. It makes me happy. They were sooooo happy to get home. And I was sooooo happy to see them.

I still had one more day off. You didn’t think I’d not take an extra day for my birthday weekend, did you? I was all alone. I decided it was the perfect time to mow the yard. The humidity just about killed me. I needed a swimming pool.

It took me forever to decide on lunch. I eventually decided on BWW’s. I wanted some hot wings. It wasn’t until 3 that I had lunch. Screw it.

I left me late lunch and went to see a friend working happy hour. I was only gone for a bit and had someday. Dinner was easy. Made some fajita chicken wraps. And that concludes our birthday weekend. Hope everyone had fun!!!

Time is a river and it only flows one way. Enjoy it!!!

Take These Dreams And Throw Them Out The Window.

Oh I’m 40. Well, at midnight. A little self reflection. As a child growing up we all see a place we want to be in our future. What is the percentage of people that reach that point compared to those that do not. I wonder? I know I didn’t. This is not a bad thing. I had many of things I saw myself doing. I geeked out on rocks and dinosaurs and Indiana Jones. I was a little artist. I could paint and draw. I liked to write. I drew pictures of rivers & roads. I built structures. I had sandcastle skills. Architecture & engineering. Geologist, paleontologist, author, etc… My dads adventures. I saw myself out in the field being adventurous. What happened.!! Lol. We would have slide show nights where he would show us picture on the projector and tell us stories of what was going on. I lived for those nights. Hey, like Indiana Jones, I work for a university. I guess that part became reality.

Where you desire to be in life as a child might have ended up being a much worse spot for you. Really, just enjoy where you are or do something to better yourself. I had a much more adventurous heart when I was a child. Children have hero’s. Fictional or real life. They see themselves becoming that person. The lens of what a child see’s through, obtaining that life is all very possible. They don’t understand adulthood or the trails to reach it. It takes work. Financial means. Support. Not that I lacked in the adventures. I had my own in my 20s.

Everyone should dream for themselves. Dreams are good. Failed dreams are good. Without dreams, what does one aspire for? And for a percentage they do come true. And when they fail it’s perhaps for the better. Things fall into place an align the way they are meant to. I’m happy even though my dreams as a child didn’t come true. I can’t imagine Bekah not with me. These damn dogs and cat. The people that I work with on campus. The house that I live in. Everything I’ve done, good and bad. I’m not perfect. I’ve got flaws. I’m happy with that. I cannot imagine giving any of this up. The people. The experiences. Everything. How you look at your life is in your hands. Can you throw those dreams away and still be happy with it?

Now I wonder: is it in the human condition to be happy or are we destined for unhappiness? Try pleasing everyone. It can become a chore. But I like to try and I like my life. I think unhappiness is an internal demon. Just learn to not give a f*** and, hey, you might find yourself in a better place. That doesn’t mean give up on everyone. But if toxic people come into your life, f*** them. You are done. They were not meant for your pandering. F*** them. You don’t be miserable because someone else it. That’s their fault. Misery loves misery. Coexisting shouldn’t have to be a chore. JUST DON’T GIVE A F***! Don’t give the person the satisfaction of stealing your joy. You got this!!! If anything, feel sorry for them. Happiness is in the doing. The making. Be happy!!

Anyway. That was cheerful. I believe my weekend blog will be a little brighter. It’s my birthday.

It’d be remiss of me not to mention that for the first week of June it was been unseasonably cool. I’m talking in the 70’s cool. We also got some nice rain. I’ve been pretty content. Actually, I’ve been ecstatic. I sat outside a lot and was eaten alive by mosquitoes. Great times.

Jalapeño

Leftover pulled pork sandwiches. That was some bad a** pulled pork. The sandwich hit the spot.

Tex-Mex lettuce tacos. Perfect summer meal. I might actually like them better than the real thing.

Buffalo chicken legs. I’ll never perfect these until I get a smoker. Really, even then they won’t be as good as the ones I’m trying to mimic. But oh well, we enjoy them.

Cocktail of the Week: A drink. Any drink.

Memorial Day: A Weekend Blog

Saturday all alone. I woke up to my girl Hazel giving me a bath. Somehow she had managed to get above my head in bed without me noticing. I can think of worse ways to awake. It was gloomy out. Pretty perfect. I desired a burrito. I went and got a burrito. It was magical. After that beauty I found myself in Hobby Lobby looking at pumpkins, glass, and all sorts of other s***. I somehow exited the store without anything. The same cannot be said of Lowe’s, where I walked out with yet another house plant. I’m that f***ing person. HEB was next and it took a whole minute in and out. That’s all I needed to do.

I couldn’t figure out lunch. I was alone and didn’t really feel like going out. Plus, graduation weekend. No thank you. I ordered some carry out. I’ve become very familiar with carry out over the last year. We are buds. Got some for Bekah and delivered her some lunch. I think she was happy and not expecting it. I ate and couldn’t finish. Bloated.

I than decided since it was my fathers birthday I needed to get his bottle of hooch and have a drink with him later. He would have been 71. We would have been in Alpine, TX celebrating like we did every year for his birthday for over a decade. That’s just what we did. Load up and go to Alpine for his birthday weekend. Get a good drunk on. I miss that man. Hard to believe he would be 71. Needless to say, it was a little bit of an emotional day.

I decided to see my mom. Just a short visit but always fun. Her dogs are goofs. I walked away with a Chimenea. I was gifted. Didn’t know I needed one. Didn’t know my wife wanted on. It was a good visit. She has flying pigs.

I came home, Bekah got off work and I cooked. She face timed Slovak for a while. We had drinks. She did karaoke The bane of my existence. She had more drinks. Maybe too much. It happens.

Sunday we slept in till 10. It was great. It was gloomy. She felt like “a**”. As she should have. Turns out half a bottle of vodka was consumed. Drinking and FaceTiming with the Slovak. Who was actually supposed to show up on Sunday but because of the shots Saturday evening was incapable of doing a f***ing thing. Better off. Monday would have been a real tragedy if she had. The pain…

We collaborated on some breakfast nachos that turned out to be the motherf***ing BOMB. Yes, I just said that. I can’t stress how awesome they were. Bacon, scrambled eggs, beans, melted cheese, jalapeño cilantro. Salsa.

The afternoon Bekah wanted to go get a drink. We found a friend and had some drinks. Haleigh is a freaking hoot. Always the pessimist & great for laughs. I do not believe there is someone in this world so fun to f*** with. Real treat. Of course probably one too many. We ordered pizza.

Monday I awoke with a world class hangover. It was my turn to hurt. A rare thing for me. Thank god I was off. It’s the whole bar experience. I’m just not used to it after the last year. I can’t pound shots of various liquor. Thank the lord it was gloomy. I slept in till almost 11 and needed it badly. I don’t sleep in and here I have 2 days. The idea of functioning at 100% seemed awful. I went to HEB and just about died from the experience. The struggle is real.

Note: I went back and checked my blog last year. Yes, I was hungover on Memorial Day. Must be a theme. I was crying like a little kid a year ago just like I am now. Eye rolls, please.

Crockpot pork butt. Someone shared a recipe for a change. I got that going and than Bekah and I went out and search of food. We ended up at Outback. I bet it’s been since 2018 since I had been in the place. The food was good. The drink I “needed”. It was a wet gloomy day and I couldn’t have asked for more. Just not the hangover. It eventually went away.

63 degrees on the last day of May. Heavenly.

What’s Memorial Day without a little grilling. I meal prepped some burger patties for the week. It felt so f***ing good outside. I was greedy for more rain but really I was satisfied with the conditions I got.

So the tacos turned out amazing. The queso was great. Why on earth did I meal prep? I have so much leftovers.

It’s raining, I’m happy & full. Hope all of you had a good weekend. Gloomy weekend here. Cheers!!!

My A** Is Twitching

High strung people make my a** twitch. So do people that have a b**** about everything in their f***ing lives. Right now so does the Ice Cream Man that is cruising through my neighborhood with his f***ing song. Damn the guy/girl. Don’t know the gender. Also, people that decide it’s a good idea to try and make a left turn into heavy traffic all the while blocking everyone else from going anywhere. The worst!! How do they do it? I mean, I lack the patience to sit so long. These alien f***er’s don’t mind sitting 5 min to make a left turn when they could have gone right and made a block? WHO ARE THEY!!!! You know what else I can throw on the a** twitching list? The f***ing post office & the people that wait in line for 30 min to just get stamps. You can buy those elsewhere. Please stop taking up my time. No-it-all motherf***er’s. A** twitch. That lottery ticket cash in d***hole. A** twitch. Being the only person that takes out the trash. A** twitch. Heck, my barking dogs. A** twitch. Probably my youngest brother. Irritating f***!. A** twitch.(Love you, broheim. You know it’s true.) And this Ice Cream Man. For god’s sake, here we go again. My a** is literally twitching. May he/she end up in the depths of hell.

We have new residents living amongst us. Squatting on our front porch, no less. I call them Richard & Harriet. They are expecting child. Accommodating as we are, they are welcome to stay. It would be rude and likely terminal for the baby if we attempted relocation. I’m happy for a guest that doesn’t mind the porch. Easy to clean and no hassle. They are a little shy though. But that’s understandable. They don’t make my a** twitch.

Mock Orange rocked!!! Then streaming concert was just what I needed. Yes, a Friday would have been better but beggars can’t be choosers. They played a very good set list. I probably have not seen these guys since 2005? Such a tight act. Only an hour but well worth the money. I told Bekah that we need to try and go to more music events in the future. I used to live for concerts. The travel. The crowds. The music. And the booze. Such great experience. I’ve had drinks with many of my favorite musicians back in the days. My a** never twitched.

So we had a surprise Friday. It turned into a half day. I took Bekah out to lunch. A thing that NEVER happens on a week day. I ran errands. I went and saw mom for a little while. I had a nice unexpected cloudy trying to rain afternoon. Trying… I was so happy. I even went to see the lilies. Happy Friday!!! No a** twitch.

Song of the Week: “High Octane Punk Mode” by Mock Orange. The concert I watched via the internet. I miss concerts.

Jalapeño

Bekah is really Keto diet right now so I came up with a pizza burger. I grilled a patty, put pizza sauce, fresh mozzarella & pepperoni on to. Roasted some mushroom and red onion as a garnish. Served over a bed of warm pizza sauce. It was pretty amazing.

Ham, cheese & egg muffin cups with some roasted broccoli for brunch.

Beef fajita steak with green sauce, onion, jalapeño and cilantro. pretty good.

Spicy chicken thigh street tacos. It was apparently a taco day. Two other friends were having some variant of taco.

Spatchcock chicken. There was a much cruder term for it on the kitchen menu that I won’t say here. Basically half a chicken with some fresh salad. It was delightful.

BLTA wraps. I could eat this every day. Is it healthy?

Queso burgers. Topped mine with some avocado.

Not the meal planned but the one we decided on. Ban Moon Spicy Chicken. So delicious. Finally a good decision.

Oh The Summer Rains.

It’s so quiet with the kick off of summer. Not like the last few semesters have been loud. Since the pandemic things have not been the same. I kind of like it right now. Mask are no long mandatory on campus. This actually might take a bit of getting use to. Is the world going back to normal? Unfortunately, not. Products are still on back order, a lot of the country still lockdown & we will probably have to get a vaccine for the rest of our days. But you know what’s great? We live in a beautiful world and can adapt to such small things.

A week of rain again? Well I woke up to rolling thunder Tuesday. RAIN!!! Already half an inch by 7 AM. Let’s just say getting up before the alarm goes off I’m generally not happy. This Tuesday I was a happy f***er. Great way to start the day. Saw some pretty gnarly video of tornados not that far from us on The Weather Channel that morning.

It didn’t rain enough for me but beggars can’t complain. Actually, let me complain. I wanted to get out in it. Drive in the rain. I was out the door and a f***ing painter came in. They are the worst. We have to wait on them. Wait for a phone to ring. This gut likes to wast time. I called him out to his boss once before. I might again. He killed my rain drive.

I said the campus was quiet, but my office was not. I was a busy busy bee. With the kids gone it’s time to fix everything. I was all over the town. Some weeks I have to find things to do. Not this week. It should have made the week go by fast. What it did was this: the morning half felt like a day of its own and the afternoon was another day. I thought: “That was yesterday. Nope, it was this morning. Wednesday felt like Friday. Not a good sign. We did get some more rain, lots of gloom & some Mammatus clouds.

I hate the words “abundant sunshine” together. It means misery to me. When I hear that in the mornings before work I cringe. So Thursday that was it. I was blinded going to work. I had forgotten what the morning sun looked like. I hate it. “Abundant Sunshine”. I don’t even want that s*** at the beach. Dreadful. Why do I live here?

Friday was my burrito day. It almost wasn’t. Someone else was going to buy thinking it was their day. Technically I suppose that was correct, but because of my flawed Friday the week before I was unable to buy. In the end I couldn’t let them do it in good conscience. Silly, I know. But it felt like I was cheating. Skipping out. Not going to be “that” guy.

Once again it was a busy day. The week was relentless. You’d think that would make it go by fast but nooooooo. People had me running well after the usual hour on a Friday. Finally 3:30 rolled around and I said screw this and took off on the golf cart. The ribbon cutting for the museum that my dads exhibit is in was happening at 4. I gathered with friends across campus and watched a live stream. Yeah, exciting it was not but it was good to watch and I kind of felt I needed to.

Bekah was staying at her sisters so I had some “me” time. I was going to cook up some heavy carbs and I had paid for a live stream concert I was excited to watch. That’s pretty much it, friends. Hope you all have a nice safe exciting weekend. Cheers!!!

Edit: The concert isn’t until the 25th. F***! I had everything set up. Ha ha. Oh well.

Song of the Week: “Empire Builder” by Typhoon

Jalapeño

For Sunday brunch we did something different. French toast. Bekah did the cooking of the toast while I knocked on the prep work and the bacon. It was delicious and we were in carb overload.

For dinner I decided to just make something up and use things from around the house. Made Mac and cheese with velveta and bow tie pasta. Cooked some chicken breast seasoned with Italian dressing. Topped with bacon, green onion and jalapeño. It was a high carb day before Bekah starts her diet.

Steak kabobs with some southwest macaroni salad.

HEB stuffed salmon with some cheesy broccoli. The broccoli though.

Steak bites and some veggies. The veggies were good. The steak was trash. I f***ed up. I was lazy and just bought already cut stew meat. Idiot. That was TUFF!!! Flavor worked, but it was a workout chewing.

Bunless burger patty with some beans topped with jalapeño.

Teriyaki chicken spicy fried rice.

Finding My “Want To”

So it cooled down again. It was like winter in May!! It was cloudy. It was wet. I don’t want it to end!!! It felt like somewhere in the northwest. I should have been in high spirits just because of this, but the week was hard.

It was a slow boring week. I knew I had a funeral and a drinking arrangement on Friday. I slept like s***. I drank more than I needed. Vacation mode & a 20% discount. It was also, as mentioned, gloomy. I had “no want to”. Again. I had to drag myself to work on Wednesday. Too soon for another mental health day. I sooooo wanted one. I’m done. I’m just done. Jumping into my car and just driving sounds appealing on some days. That’s life. Everyone hits a rut from time to time. Haha

Sadly, my “want to” only began to appear on Thursday. Why….. Another day of little to do but also one of good laughs. A friend had a coworker totally go off the deep end. Even for her. My own office was completely inappropriate. I strongly believe myself and my coworker all have something wrong with our heads. The things we get our kicks off. We also found a treasure trove of old campus newspaper and memorabilia which was great fun to go through. All in all, I generally love my coworkers. We are sick, but sick together.

Another semester down, another graduation. Clearly this ones a bit different than the last. A little more “normal”. I don’t even know what that means anymore. It’s wild to think. I feel like I was just taking first day of school photos. Did the year feel quick for anyone else?

Friday was a heck of a day. “Want to” gone. Sewage backed up into our house through the shower and tub. It was a city issue. They were knocking on the door when I was trying to leave. That’s how the day started. I made it to work and hour late only to go to a funeral and hour later. The boss and I went. It was emotional to say the least. My coworker who I’ve called “Jimmy” lost his wife after a long and short battle with cancer. They had been married for 44 years. High school sweet hearts. When he got up and attempted to sing his and his wife’s song, broke down into sobs. It hurt. It really hurt. Took a lot out of me.

Upon returning to work I found myself slammed on a day I wanted to do nothing. I was having one f*** of a morning. I told my coworkers “I am going to lunch, f*** this place.” I went home and just contemplated 2 things. 1) Do I take a brief nap and wake up feeling worse, or 2) do I have a beer and hope for the best? I choose the beer. I don’t ever do this. I know in the work OP their is nothing against it. WTH. To admit this is something I shouldn’t be saying but it really did improve my afternoon. I was reinvigorated. I was friendly. I had some “want to” again. I could make it!!! And we had ourselves a very fun afternoon. The office was an HR nightmare. We were so inappropriate. The beaver….

After work I was having drinks with my friend The Dean. My house stank of bleach so we sat outside. It was good therapy for all of us. We had all had a week and needed laughs and drinks. They both came in plenty. I had been anxious about the get together but like last time, we all had a blast. It went on until half past 11. No dinner. Lots of good times.

Song of the Week: Shadowlands by Ryan Adam’s

Jalapeño

Grilled Salisbury steak with scalloped potatoes and a mushroom gravy.

Seared tuna with some miso asparagus.

It’s soup weather in May so I had to take advantage of it. I went with White Bean Chicken Chili. It’s almost a stew. Very hearty. It turned out good.

Fish tacos and corn. Bekah said these were the best. They were good.

Cocktail of the Week: shots.

Mental Health Days

Oh boy. It was another week in the office. That means every f***ing day is a Monday. Monday Monday Monday Monday Friday. They are the worst. Monotonous Monday. Kill me. I hate it. I usually take the Monday off but I didn’t.

So the second Monday afternoon was a trip. I heard people I knew died. I heard a good old friend was basically terminal. I heard some good news in between. It was a rollercoaster of emotions. It was 10 days worth of bad news crammed into one. I felt like the s*** had been beaten out of me when I finally made it home. I mean, to find out someone close to you is probably not going to make it from a simple idle conversation in the office. Had no idea he was ill. He was fine Easter. A big chunk of my life this guy was an everyday part of. It hurt. It hurt Bekah. We don’t know his future but it’s not looking promising. Too f***ing young with too much to live for. We drank. It’s what he would have done.

I woke up on the 3rd Monday with no “want to”. I thought long and hard about taking off. It took little convincing that taking the day off for my own mental health was the way to go. The only way. Mental health days. We all need them. I’m lucky to have a boss that understands them. I don’t get pestered. I don’t have to lie and say I’m sick. I’m just f***ing burnt out and need to regain myself. Give me the day. I don’t think I’ve ever taken one in the middle of the week.

I stayed in bed with the dogs. I lounged around the house. Did a little casual shopping. Ran errands. Took Bekah some lunch. Did the yard. Had a late lunch and drinks in at an empty bar. It was relaxing in every way that I needed. My “want to” meter regained some hearts. I felt replenished come the 4 Monday. Mental health days should be an acceptable reason to take a little time off in all fields of employment. Sometimes you just need that time to yourself to find a little recharge. When life gets heavy what else can you do? Let it bury you? No thanks.

Side note: The conversation for the week. The campus softball team had themselves a game. The final play the umpire made a call the coach didn’t agree with. Arguments. They went on and on and on. You know how it is. Suddenly the umpire trotted off towards the dugouts. No one knew what was happening. Weird game. That’s when the team fled the dugouts and rushed into the field. People thought “WTF, a fight over the play?” Last call of the game. Nope. No. Just a mortifying moment in life for the umpire. One he will likely bring to the grave with shame. Apparently he had to take a s***. And s*** he did. He dropped his drawers & blasted 2 walls & destroyed the carpet. It had to be removed. Too much of a mess for our contracted cleaning company. I don’t k ow what those poor softball players saw. PTSD? I don’t k ow what that poor umpire did? Ask for rags? Will the contract him for the next game? Would he even want the gig? I wonder how many people know of his embarrassment. Hard times. Might be best to leave the state & change ones name. Poor b******. I know we all felt horrible for laughing at the story but jokes were made all week.

Jalapeño

We had all the makings for eggs Benedict. Bekah made some homemade Bloody Mary mic. I’m not the biggest fan, but hers are indeed good.

Sweet potato and broccoli covered in sloppy Joe and jalapeño.

Chicken Tikka Masala.

Teriyaki steak.

Chili verde chicken soft tacos with spicy corn. Happened to be Cinco de Mayo.

Asian chicken salad. Delicious and refreshing.

Burger and Mac salad.

Cocktail of the Week: margaritas.

Give Me Rain!!!!!

We waited. And we waited. My friends and I on campus that prefer gloomy wet weather over bright sunny days. It kept wanting to accommodate us but in the end kept failing us. Morning would start off promising and than the freaking sun would break through the clouds. And it was GROSS outside. Wednesday morning I stepped out of my car and my glasses immediately fogged up. Oppressive humidity and no rain. We were in agreement that it was unfair. And then evening rolled around and I heard thunder from my back patio. It sprinkled. It smelt great. I desired much more. I can listen to thunder all night. I was happy. Unfortunately it didn’t last long enough and the heat returned with the humidity. But then it cooled down and the thunder returned. How many rounds would we be getting? Week ain’t over yet.

So it sprinkled all night. We did get precipitation. Woke up and finally a downpour. The temp was in the 50s. I was grateful. It was my kind of day. It rained and rained. Our crocodile was finally set loose once again. He couldn’t have been happier. It rained all day.

Pink super moon. I wish I could get a decent picture. The actual night of we had clouds. Of course we did. Give us clouds at night after a bright and sunny day. Rude. I did manage a not so decent picture the next clear night.

Finally I got the vaccine. The first run. After 2 failed attempts. First attempt was the same week I caught the virus. The second was too soon afterwards. The first shot is finally down. No side effects. Slight soreness. The lady giving me the shot was a real peach. She asked what arm? I said I heard it’s best in the dominate so it’s worked out sooner. She rolled her f***ing eyes out of her head. When eyes are the only expressions we have due to mask, I don’t recommend doing that. At least not to strangers. I’ve never had that from someone I don’t know. At least that I realize. She might as well have replied “dumb s***, it doesn’t f***ing matter”. I replied, whichever are you are more comfortable with. She paused and sighed and said “which are do you want it in”. Okay. Someone is tired of this. Give it to my right. The dominate. What do I care or know. Great disposition.

Friday finally rolled around. It felt like an extra week. I don’t know why it was so long. I got my burrito. Burrito Friday’s was something I started way back in August as a welcome back on campus to my friends. Somehow it became a rotational thing where someone buys a burrito every Friday. I like it. On my days to buy maybe I don’t. I have had more burritos in the last school year than probably the last 2 years. I really only treated myself on a few occasions. This Friday I got trapped by the Dean and wasn’t in my office until about 8:30. Man likes to chat and it’s always a good time. I never need lunch on burrito days.

The week sure did end on a much higher note. 60 degrees and overcast with rain. What more can a man ask for. Cheers!!!