Spring is here.  The days are longer, the weather is warmer.  Not my favorite time of year because it means summer is coming.  Summer is coming!  My least favorite season.  Ninety degrees is too hot for me.  Let’s not talk about the hundreds.  I melt.  But there are things to be said about spring which I do love. 

On a good year we start seeing thunderstorms.  I love the rain.  What am I doing in West Texas!  I would be a happy man in Seattle.  Cloudy skies just elevate my mood.  I get giddy at the thought of sever storms.  It’s not that I want destruction.  Absolutely not.  I just love weather.   To watch it change.  I am a self-admitted weather geek.  It’s amazing I have a wife.  Shocking she didn’t flee when she found out that I could watch The Weather Channel all day.  What a boring guy, she must have thought.  Now she wants to buy me a weather station for my birthday.

Spring also brings the blooms.  The spectacle that is a field of wild flowers.  Taking in the fragrances and watching the butterflies dance from flower to flower.  If ever you needed a reminder that the world is actually a beautiful place, not much else tops that.  The color returning to the world after the dullness of winter.  So much to marvel at.

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Also, people generally seem to be in better moods once spring arrives.  I hear much less complaints.  And boy have I heard a lot this year.  I didn’t even think it was that harsh a winter.  Am I wrong?  Was it so miserable?

And there’s Easter.  Pastel eggs and bunny rabbits.  My immediate family were all in town.  One of our 3 big get-togethers of the year.  It doesn’t feel like so much time has passed since we were all gathered for Christmas.  We always have a great time.  I’ve had my share of carbs this week.  I’m done with them.  Feed me a salad please.  And no more wine please! (Just kidding.)  And my kitchen duties were scaled back this year.  Only job I had was Deviled Eggs.  They were almost completely consumed before they hit the table.  I don’t know how it was that I got delegated making the eggs.  It’s been at least 10 years.  No one else seem to have the patience to peel so many eggs. 

I played Easter Bunny for the first time.  I didn’t know hiding eggs could be so much fun.  My nephew Teddy had such a look of wonder on his face when he found an egg.  The little guy is really talking now.  So much vitality in this little boy. 

                Did I mention that Bekah was out of town?  Off to Colorado with her sister.  I had the house to myself.  I fail to appreciate the fact that while she is here that she is the one the dogs wake up at whatever hour during the night to relieve themselves.  I’m exhausted.  I don’t fall back to sleep easily.  Bless her heart.  Just one more reason added to the list of why I love that woman.

Haiku day was Wednesday.  I don’t know how many of these I had to write for my Advanced Poetry class.  As far as writing poetry goes, I think I enjoyed them the most.  In honor of the day and spring, I wrote one.  A little morbid?  Feel free to interpret that as you wish.

Sunshiny April

A dead, teary goldfish calls

Despite the cookies

So now it’s Monday.  The weekend went quickly.  I’ve returned to work less rested than I was leaving on Friday.  I said I’d cut out the work blogging, but MY GOSH WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!  Way too much coming out of his mouth.  Way too much information.  He is basically just talking to himself non-stop for nearly 2 hours.  Verbal diarrhea!  Did he take drugs this morning?  I seriously want to know.  I was unaware one person could be this annoying.  I just had no idea.   How naive.  My tolerance level for people has always been pretty high.  Bekah says he must be something because I don’t talk about people like I do the Llama.  I guess it’s a blessing that I’ve made it this far through life having never met someone like this.  F*** me!!!  It’s not yet ten o’clock and I need a drink…  This person is driving me to drink.  I will need a cocktail if this keeps up all day.  I will be going on a double vision quest.  Wish me the best of luck!!!!

Jalapeños!!

                Monday dinner was chicken, jalapeño & onions smothered in warm queso.  Can’t go wrong here.  What a simple delicious meal.

                Hoisin steak with sriracha green beans.  Pretty basic.  If you don’t cook with hoisin sauce, you really should correct that.  It’s even better on chicken.

                Wednesday I was really wanting to grill “again” but Bekah really wanted Taco Salads.  She was going out of town for 4 days so she got her wish.  They did turn out great so it wasn’t a real loss. 

                I got to grill.  BBQ chicken & grilled jalapeño and a spicy slaw.  This was fantastic. 

                Cocktail of the week: Strawberry Margarita

It’s my office week.  Stuck here for 5 long days.  40 hours of aggravation.  I’m beginning to wonder if I didn’t start this blog as some sort of distraction from all the lunacy that is my office.  It’s a miracle of sorts that I have not yet lost my mind.  I find myself looking out the window and wishing I was anywhere but here.  What is it that I am wishing myself away from, you ask?  South Park reenactments, narcissistic gibberish, disgruntled cursing, brainless e-mail request, buzzers buzzing, sunflowers spitting, etc.  A cacophony of sounds that chip away at my sanity.

  I do try and find some humor while I’m here.  I have to look at this as a comedy.  For instance, the word for the week was a profanity.  I’ll do my best to not use foul language while blogging, so let’s just censor: “B***S***”.   I should begin a tally to see how many times that phrase is uttered.  I think even I would be surprised by the final count.  I say it’s the word of the week.  It’s actually every week.  “This is B*** S***” needs to be sewn into this man’s shirts.  Unfortunately, embroidery isn’t one of my skills.  I’ll leave that to someone else.

The lazy Llama had himself a week.  His pride was wounded.  Humiliated by his careless mistake.  Shamed by laugher.  A blunder which he shall carry as long as he works here.  And I couldn’t stop laughing.  I try not to find pleasure from another person’s misfortune, but in this moment it was an impossibility.  How quickly he gained new nicknames.   Aquaman and Water Boy.  I’ve heard both.  But he will always be the Llama.  I can honestly say that at the time my heart went out to the guy.   By the end of the day I wanted to kick him.

And what would a week be without my dear friend.  How could I get by without her?  Just when I think that I’ve made it, there she is!  Never letting me down.  Since April 17^th 2018 she has been consistently bringing joy into my life, never missing a week.  Always brightening my day.  Ever good for a laugh, my dear friend.  I was in a state of melancholy all week unsure what the cause.  Suddenly an e-mail notification!  The sadness washed away.  A warmth returned to my heart.  Oh happy day!  All thanks to my dear, dear friend. 

Major part of my office week involves my dealings with the facility folk.  The stories that I hear.  It’s always something.  They come to chat.  To vent about work.  The hoops that they jump through to keep this place running.  And the lack of appreciation that they feel they receive.  These guys make me laugh.  So many characters over here.  A circus.

Thank the lord for our office communication app, Jabber, on these weeks.  If I wasn’t able to silently vent to my friends across campus I would probably end up a shell of a man by Friday.  Bless them!  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy working here.  I have made some good friends.  I have flexibility.  The positives outweigh the negatives.  It’s only this week that I despise.  But I will continue to roll with the wind and laugh when I can.  Next week I’ll try and veer away from work.  But having been inside the office all week…

Jalapeños:

Grilled chicken w/ a white wine sauce accompanied by sweet kale salad and sweet potato.  The sauce is one that I have not been able to find for about a year.  I finally broke down and payed $20 for it to be shipped to me.  I will have to make this last.

Grilled tuna & seaweed salad.  I eat meal this a lot. Bekah can’t stand seaweed. The sauce is a sweet soy reduction.  A little sriracha for good measure. 

Chipotle chicken & salad.  I’ll make this again.  Simple.  McCormick package.  I have a bad habit of turning my nose to season packets and I should probably work on that.  This one really surprised me.  Thanks Jamie!

Enchilada bunless burger?  Sure!  Seems like the perfect opportunity for a fried egg.

Bekah was gone Friday so I wanted extra heat.  I had a hard time trying to figure out what I could make that I normally wouldn’t be able to due to spice limitations.  Then I remembered that I have a bottle of BWW’s mango habanero sauce.  Grilled chicken baste with the sauce.  Made a mango pico.  This one did the trick.  My mouth was on fire. I suppose this is how Bekah feels? Good to know!

Cocktail of the week: Pina Colada

I work with a llama.  My llama doesn’t carry his load.  Not an investment, the lazy llama.  While generally thought to be a productive animal, my llama knows little to nothing about being productive.   Unequivocally the most inactive llama this world has ever seen.  The lethargic llama.  Did you know that llamas actually do spit?  Mine spits all the time.  Loudly slobbering to himself.  My dear llama.  While llamas are generally thought to be pleasant animals, mine is not.  It’s a stretch to say mine has any personality.  The cactus that I purchased over the weekend has more personality.  Everyone needs a llama. 

A few fun facts about llamas.  1) They know their own limits.  You can’t overload a llama.  They will refuse to move if overloaded.  Mine refuses to move without a load.  2) Llamas are smart and easy to train.  I wasted my time training this one.  3) Llamas are social animals.  This has to be a joke, right?  Social??  Wrong!   Nope!  Negative!!!

Anyways… dinner throughout the week.

                Monday was an experiment.  Went with what I had.  The base is a ranchero sauce I conjured up from scratch topped with onion, jalapeño & grass fed beef.  I’ll be the first to admit that the picture looks like something, well… unpleasant.  Thankfully it was delicious.  Bekah was basically in tears trying to finish it.  I’d say I succeeded.

                Tuesday I tried something different.  Went the “extra spicy” route with Bekah out of town.  Chinese jalapeño chicken stir-fry.  The word “epic” comes to mind.  This will become a regular dish.  Only thing missing was the rice.  UPDATE:  Made this again Saturday.  Bekah couldn’t eat it. TOO HOT!!!

                Wednesday.  Went with a dish Bekah often makes.  Due to her exhaustive air travels I took over.  We call it enchilada chicken.  So creative is that name.  Enchilada sauce and chicken.  Really put our minds together for this one.  Anyhow, Bekah seems to think I made it better.  She was disheartened.  All I did differently is let the chicken simmer in a light beer.  Heck, I’ll take the compliment!

                Thursday it was warm enough for a salad.  I decided on chicken teriyaki with a sesame ginger dressing.   Jalapeños because, why not?  A very simple summertime meal.

                Friday bunless burgers!!!  Or is it a hamburger salad?  Semantics!  Really don’t have anything else to say about this meal other than that it was great.  Until next time!

                Cocktail of the week:  Rum Punch!

So what is this blog and why am I doing?  I honestly don’t have an answer.  I have been throwing around the idea of doing a food blog for a while now.  I was going to focus on spicy foods, but I think that is a little limiting.  Don’t get me wrong, there will be many of pictures that feature jalapenos.  I love heat.  I love the endorphins that are released when consuming something warm.  My wife Bekah, thinks I need help.  She might be right.  The pictures that I post on Facebook and Instagram are usually met with similar statements.  “You have a problem.”  “Your pictures make my stomach hurt.”  Etc.  Yet when encountered in person I get high praise.  And that happens frequently.  Is it a morbid fascination?  Living vicariously through my jalapeno pictures?  Who knows!

                This blog will also feature stories about the two goofs in my life, Hazel and Owen.  Our Labrador children.  On a daily basis they make me laugh.  I might also add Bekah as the 3^rd goof.  She is hilarious.  I’m certain she will be featured in this often.  I could probably just blog about her falling asleep on the couch every night with featured photos of the most uncomfortable of positions.  I tell her she is narcoleptic, but she disagrees.

                So yeah.  I suppose this will be about whatever.  Whatever is on fire in my life?  That is about a cheesy as it gets.  I’ll try to incorporate some cheese into each entry.   

                Obligatory food photo:

Mean Green Chicken Tomatillo Soup. Looks can be deceiving.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton