I was out of my mind.  Bekah was doing a diet last week so I was left to my own devices.  I thought: “Gee Wally, what should I cook for myself?”  Eureka!!!  Let’s incorporate ghost peppers into each meal!!!  Who in their right mind does such a thing?  I do.  So next time you see me feel free to let me know I’m absolutely positively nuts.  Or just plain stupid.  I’ll let you make that decision.  Heck, maybe I’m both.

                Cooking multiple meals with ghost isn’t something I’ve tried before.  I was planning on having a week with habanero’s and then I found the ghost by accident.  My warped mind immediately lit up with joy.  After ingesting that peanut…  I mean, that changed my definition of spicy.  I basically dropped a hydrogen bomb into my freaking mouth.  Felt Death’s fingers on my shoulder urging me to give in and follow him into the afterlife.  Whispering sweet relief.  I refused to acknowledge the jerk. 

                Ironic that I just so happen to do this on the hottest week we have had this year.

                That 100 degree mark.  It hurts me.  Convenient that Friday was the first official day of summer.    You should see the lot that I have to cross in order to reach my car after work. At a casual pace it takes me 2 min.  It feels like a mile when the sun is beating down upon you from above and the heat’s radiating off the pavement from below.  By the time my coworkers and I finally reach our vehicles we all look broken.  Looks of despair upon our faces.  Relief is not yet in sight, for the temperatures within our cars far exceeds what’s outside.  Easily over 130.  Our A/C can’t cool quickly enough.  By the time I reach my house, which isn’t far mind you, I think a part of me has died.  The knowledge that I will be repeating this sadistic ritual the following day is almost a worthy enough reason to make myself a drink.  Yay summer, everyone!!!  Yay summer……….

                I took some time off work on Thursday to run important “errands”.  I was very productive and the feeling of accomplishment was on the verge of being overwhelming.  Boy oh boy.  Who knew I could get so much done in just 2 hours.  I was literally all over town.  Astonishing.  By the way, did I mention the USA vs Sweden women’s world cup game?  Yeah, USA won.  Hear it was a pretty amazing match.  Sad that I was SO busy I missed the game.  Wink wink.

                The weekend finally arrived.  The weekend of the slumber party.  I needed to mentally prepare myself for what was sure to be an exhaustive time.  What better than going to the Civic League Park.  This has always been one of my favorite places in town.  I have been exploring the park since I was a little kid.  If I ever want to be put in a good mood I need look nowhere else.  I just wondered around for a little while.  The lilies are beautiful this time of year.

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                So the slumber party.  Bekah still has those.  This time it was at our house.  Our Slovakian friend, Maja pronounced “My-a”, was sleeping over.  Before she arrived I was told to buy a bottle of cucumber vodka & the ingredients to make bun less burgers that I was supposed to cook for them.  Glad I waited till Saturday to go shopping for diner because minutes before I left for the store she changed her mind and wanted me to grill shrimp and make squash & potato salad.  Demanding!  I clearly had the squash part covered but not the shrimp.  I asked her in return to bring me some pizza from this place in Christoval, where she lives.  At first she said no, but after giving her guilt she finally said yes.  Only stipulation was that it had to have mushrooms just in case she wanted to try it.  My eyes were rolling.  Whatever.  The pizza was very tasty.

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                After briefly snacking on the pizza, I took them out for lunch.  While they had food and LOTS of drinks I got to watch some more World Cup. Roughly 4 hours later it is time I take them back to the house.   Adult slumber parties are an interesting concept.  I would say it’s really just a way to drink safely and not have to worry about going anywhere.  Being that they are both ex-bartenders, lots of cocktails were attempted.  I say attempted because about a third of each drink mixed ended up on my counter and floors.  Slavic said you never forget how to bartend while spilling her mix all over the place.  I was laughing very hard at this.  It was pretty hilarious.  They sang.  They danced.  They giggled and fell down.  And guess what they didn’t do?  EAT THE SHRIMP I BOUGHT!!  They decided to eat my dinner, which was the leftover pizza.  I come into the kitchen to see that they were generous enough to leave me a slice.  So kind.  Then it was time for Skip-bo.  Bekah’s favorite card game.  The thing is, Slavic was WAY to incapacitated to understand the rules.  After an hour of struggles, the game was abandoned for more music and dancing.  They tried in vain to make it to midnight but both fell asleep about an hour shy.  What a night.  They plan on repeating again in a few months.

                Sunday morning I had some rough looking women in our house.  Time for brunch!  Eggs, jalapeño poppers, and some sparkling wine.  The dour dispositions of my wife and friend quickly faded into an animated optimistic morning.  All was once again balanced and they could move ahead with some pep in their step.    Bekah had a little too much “hair of the dog”.  She purchased a swimming pool and slept the majority of the afternoon. Monday she said that her “Check Liver” light was on.   I needed to come back to work for rest.

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                Ghost Pepper!!

                Ghost ginger soy chicken legs.  I guess I had a look of anguish.  Bekah asked if it was hot.  Yes!  What gave it away?  The fact that my nose was running or that I was red as the pepper I ate?  Was it because I looked feverish?  Pretty great meal.  I’ll make this again without ghost.

                Ghost queso burger.  And yes I doubled down with jalapeño as well.  I don’t know why I’ve never put queso on a burger before.  The picture might look boring but the taste was great.  And it wasn’t even unbearably hot. 

                Sweet chili chicken with ghost.  So this was the meal that I was worried about.  Who makes a meal that they worry about eating advance of preparation?  Morons, that’s who.  To quote myself after finishing the meal “my god no.”  Snotty nosed and probably beat red, I had good reason to fear this one.  10 min later and I found myself in a calm state of euphoria.  Or was it that I somehow finished 4 beers trying to wash dinner down?  Who can say?

                Salmon croquettes.  Yes I did put a ghost in there.  Not the most appetizing looking meal, I know.  This is my mother’s recipe, sans ghost chili.  She would probably be appalled to hear what I’ve done here.  It was pretty damn hot.

I don’t have a name for this meal. Jamie has given us so many squash that I’m just throwing things together and making things up. Squash, onion, red bell, jalapeño, chicken, ghost, and leftover cheese from the queso burgers. What a great meal. The cheese gave it a nice creamy texture and enhanced what would otherwise still been a great mix. Making this again.

Cocktail of the week: Strawberry Margarita

I live in a quiet neighborhood and we just got new neighbors.  Watching them move in catty-corner from us has been the most exciting thing to happen in months.  Seeing the work they are putting into the house has been a great joy.  How boring does all this sound?  Exceptionally so.  Immensely.  I suppose that’s okay, but at times I miss the old neighborhood.  Never a dull moment.

                Not that we lived in a bad part of town and all our neighbors were awful.  Santa Rita is a great part of this community.  It’s an old neighborhood with eclectic housing.  Some areas are not as glamorous as others.  Let’s just say that there are pockets within neighborhoods.   We lived on the border of such a pocket.  Low cost rent houses and cheap motels with monthly rates can attract not just the broke college kids but the more criminal elements of society.  And boy did we get a bit of both.  The first time I saw someone getting arrested in front of our house I peeped through the blinds to secretly watch.  By the end of our stay, when those blue & red lights were flashing, I was on the porch with a drink taking in the show.  To quote Ricky Butler from the ‘Burbs “God, I love this street”.

                The house across from us was a rental that seemed to only attract drug dealers.  The first were straight up gangsters.  Caricatures of gangsters.  They didn’t care who saw them slinging drugs.  They were loud and partied till the early AM.  They were not clever and didn’t last long.  The second guy was straight up class.  I’m talking godfather smooth.  He knew a thing or two about appearances.  Clean cut, very polite, nothing flashy, good conversationalist.  I never suspected a thing.  That’s why it was a shock to me when the US marshals kicked down his door.  He apparently got tipped off because he was nowhere to be seen and left all his belongings behind.  What we learned was the guy moved A LOT of cocaine.

                Next door we had the college kids.  For the most part they were good respectful neighbors.  All that they wanted was to drink beer and smoke weed, so they made it a point to keep us happy.  I don’t think they were the studious types.  Aside from the occasional beer cans in the yard and late night party, they did a good job.  Sometimes you would hear yelling.  Drunk boyfriend mad at drunk girlfriend & vice versa.  One night things escalated.  Girlfriend went berserk on boyfriend’s new truck.  Boyfriend tried to pull her away from the truck and she stabbed him in the thigh.  Cops came.  Bye bye girlfriend.  They moved out after graduation and left that house in shambles.  I kind of missed them, they were hilarious kids.

                A little further down the street was where the real drama was.  Everything else was more comical until they came along.  They moved in closer to the end of our time on that street and certainly played a part in us moving on.  The neighbors on the block nicknamed them “The Crackheads”.  The true blight of the neighborhood.  Neighbors from hell.  They screamed at each other.  Stormed down the street yelling and crying.  All hours of the day this went on.  College kids said they never slept & that they were into some “weird s***”.  They were closer to them so they had more interaction.  I mentioned the motel.  Gallivanting back and forth from said motel they sure did.  Often with new companionship that looked just as strung out as they.  Cops always over.  And they had 2 pit bulls THAT THEY NEVER KEPT IN THE YARD!!!!  Jemma & Tank. They would attack other dogs on the street.  It got where we could only walk Hazel one direction.  With pepper spray.  I don’t know how many times animal control was called on those poor animal.  I called on 2 occasions when other dogs were getting attacked.  I thought Tank was going to kill this old yellow lab one day.  I came running out of the house with a f***ing flip flop in my hand.  Like that was going to do any good against a 100lb dog with a bite strength over 200lbs.  Adrenaline was pumping and I wasn’t thinking, but I did get them separated.    If the dogs were not roaming the street they were chained up in the yard.  In all weather conditions howling day & night. The Crackheads were the worst pet owners.  Again, neighbors from hell. 

                So you see settling into the new house a year ago took a little getting used to. We were accustomed to excitement on a daily basis.  Maybe this is a boring street.  But in this case, upon reflection, boring is a good thing.  I love my neighborhood. 

                Jalapeno!!

                Beef with broccoli.  Of course I added fresh peppers.  The beef cooked for nearly 2 hours so the meat was perfectly tender.  This isn’t a typical summer dish for us, but because the temperature was in the mere 70’s we went with it. 

                Loco Moco on King Kamehameha Day!  I promise this wasn’t planned.  It’s been a long time since I’ve made this dish and it really wasn’t quite as good as I remember it being.  I think it’s just that I don’t eat as much beef as I use to.  I still enjoyed it.

                Another HelloFresh from my friend!  Bibimbop.  This turned out to be AMAZING!  I wasn’t really sure what to expect.  It was a little time consuming to prepare because each veggie needed to be cooked separately.  Next time I’ll just combine them.  The flavor was excellent.   Three nights of beef.  Time to move on to chicken.

                Grilled sweet & sour chicken.  I don’t know why I’ve never done this before.  It’s always stir-fry or breaded.  This is clearly the option I’ll be going with more often in the future.  Much healthier and just as good.  Not to mention a lot easier to make.

                Grilled crab lets!  My friend was going to smoke them and I could not get crab off my mind so I decided to cook some myself.  I had planned on steaming the legs but the idea to grill them was planted in my mind.  I was not expecting them to turn out as good as they did.  I’ve been missing out all these years.  It was simply fantastic.  I don’t see myself preparing them any other way from this point forward.

                Cocktail of the week:  Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

                I had a friend suggest that I celebrate my birthday all week.  She said that’s what girls do so why don’t boys?  I took her up on that.  I’m not talking about going out to the bars and staying up all night.  I’m too old for that and I care about my bank account (And my health).  I’m talking about pampering myself.  I think I did a pretty good job of it.

                We got more rain!  Rained on my birthday!  I got my birthday wish. I couldn’t ask for anything else on my week of celebration.  Bekah also decided it was time to extend the driveway.  I know that’s what she has always wanted to do with our little side yard.  What I didn’t know was the drastic measures she was willing to take in order to ensure her goal.  Oh well.  I was celebrating.  Didn’t let a little demolition get me down.

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In all the years that I’ve worked on campus I had never once shown up on my birthday.  This year if fell on a Wednesday.  Middle of the week, so I came to work.  My birthday has never been acknowledged by my coworkers, and it wasn’t this year either.   BUT I got many wishes from across the campus.  Let’s be honest, most my friends are across campus.  They are the ones that make working here great.  And because of them, I really enjoyed coming to work on my birthday.  Who would have thought?  Not me?  I am very grateful for all of them.  Bless the lords, even the Llama was subdued.  It’s like he took a Xanax.   Might I make this a normal thing?  It falls on a Friday next year.  It’s going to be very hard to resist taking off.  The kindness of my campus family really put me in a good mood and set things in motion for a really beautiful birthday. 

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I got to spend some time with my sweet nephew all week.  Boy after my own heart.  Guy loves pizza.  His birthday was 3 days before mine so we celebrated with wind instruments.  We had a real blast.  I’m not sure how the parents will feel about this development and I really don’t care.  As an uncle it is my job to spoil him and I take that very seriously.  He also saw a ghost!  He had me help look for it.  I’m not beyond thinking that he actually saw one.  As adults we are not supposed to believe in such things, but I’ve had some experiences.  Bekah thinks that I’m haunted.  A story for another time.

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Had a little lake adventure on Thursday.  I spent a lot of time out at Twin Buttes during my youth and had many spots that I would spend considerable time.  Many of them are not accessible now or they are completely submerged.  It was great seeing so much water out there and I had a nice time hiking around.

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Weekend was spent watching Women’s World Cup.  Possibly my favorite sporting event.  It’s a shame they get less recognition than men’s.  I think that women play the sport better.  Maybe they have more to prove?  Whatever the reason I enjoy the heck out of it.  First matches held a few surprises.  I might have to take a half day so I can watch the first USA game tomorrow.

                Birthday eats:

                Burrito Baby!!!

I had a recipe for southwestern eggrolls.  I used it to make this.  It was actually very very good.  Made a chipotle ranch to drizzle over it.

                Chicken fajitas from La Chilanga.

                Cork & Pig pizza.  I liked it but should have stuck with the Mexican Chorizo.

                Harvest chicken salad from Zero One Ale House.

                Ahi Tuna Poke from Nakamura.

                Asian chicken meatballs.  I’m all in on ground chicken.  These turned out to be amazing.

                Spicy lettuce wraps from The Penny Tap House

                Green chili pizza from Trophy’s.

                Cocktail of the week:  Whatever this is.

                As I sit here listening to a coworker directly in front of my desk whispering seductively “Hey sweetie, looking good today” to his ivy while caressing its leaves, I begin to think that everyone I work with has some sort of personality disorder.  So what is mine?  For this to become ordinary, for me to just shrug it off as just another typical part of my day.  And there is SO much that I don’t even notice anymore.  Or rather, try not to notice.  I used to be creeped by this behavior.  Now I just ignore it.  It’s got me wondering what other lunacies blindly pass me by & how my mind has shut them out. 

                Let us call this character Jimmy.  When I first started working here, Jimmy flat out annoyed the ever living s*** out of me.  I questioned finding another job, but I needed the insurance for my condition. He was lazy, liked to hear himself talk, and worst of all he smelt terrible.  He had me doing the most mundane task for him all the time because he didn’t want to get off his rump.  It did not take me long to figure this guy out.  I stopped doing anything for him when he asked.  He was not my boss.  He soon learned to stop wasting his time trying.  As if to protest, he started playing awful music in the mornings.  Brittney Spears, salsa music George Michaels, the Beauty & the Beast soundtrack…  Bad enough I was getting it at home, I didn’t need it to follow me to the work place.  Luckily, my other coworkers had put up with him for much longer and they filed a complaint.  That took care of the music at least. 

                I’ve become convinced that Jimmy is a sadist and our poor cleaning lady, his victim.  Every morning when she is over here right before she is ready to clean the bathroom, Jimmy suddenly needs to “take care of business” as he likes to say.  He apologizes to her and ask if it’s okay that he use the restroom before she cleans it.  Then he is in there for a bit.  This is bad etiquette, to say the least.  This poor woman.  What’s she going to say?  No?  Of course not.  So she patiently waits, god bless her.

                Jimmy knows everything about anything.  I’ve heard him blow so much hot air up a salesman’s a** it’s amazing that they didn’t float away.  He has also worked so many different jobs over the years I don’t understand how he has managed to find the time for this one.  Think of anything and he has done it.  Astonishing, isn’t it?   Recreational activities?  The guy is F***ing superman.  There isn’t a thing he hasn’t or cannot do.  Black belt taekwondo, rodeo competitor, rock climber, bicyclist, power lifting.  It’s crazy.

                Over the years Jimmy’s oddities do not bother me as much as they used to.  Not to say that he still doesn’t have his moments.  I mentioned he likes to talk.  He has stood in front of my desk and told me about his gosh darn bowel movements for goodness sake.  I kid you not.  And worse things I don’t want to trouble you with.  I have a system worked out with a friend from another department where I type 911 in our chat program.  She calls and I pretend like she needs help with something.  This way Jimmy thinks I’m working and moves on to doing whatever it was he was doing before he cornered me at my desk.  Thank god for friends.

                Jimmy had the titles “worst person to work with” until the Llama came around.  Need I say more about the Llama?  I think not.  You have heard enough.  If you need a refresher, refer to my second entry “Ode to the Llama”.

                So the question is, should I really be thankful that my brain has become numb and blind to these men’s conduct?  I mean, my subconscious is still taking it all in.  They might be a reason I suffer from insomnia?  My brain is trying to process what it has witnessed.  I suppose it’s a good thing our minds can compartmentalize what is disturbing and what is not.  Maybe I just don’t give a f*** anymore.  They are not on my budget anyway.

                Bekah cooked most of last week so I’ll be rating 1-5 again.  She used Chrissy Teigens cookbook for 2 or the recipes.  Abandoned that idea after one disastrous effort and went back to what she cooks best.  We got some serious rain over the weekend.  4.8 inches.  Saw a few trash cans float down my street.  Dogs had a great time playing in it. 

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I also ate the HOTTEST thing I’ve ever experienced over the weekend.  I cried.  My glands were overactive.  I thought I was going to drown on my own spit.  Leaned over the sink and it was like a waterfall coming out of my mouth.  Bekah and I both had never seen anything like it.  I had sharp stomach pains.  Felt like vomiting.  Was terrified how that would feel coming back up.  Face went numb.  Paced the house in excruciating pain.  Sweating like I was in the summer sun.  Eyes blood shot.  Wanted to die for about an hour.  Bekah thought it was hilarious.  Than my adrenaline kicked in and I was wide awake till 1AM.  Felt like a million bucks. Thank you Jamie!

                Monday for Memorial Day I slow cooked a brisket.  It was okay.  A little on the fatty side.  I ended up with far too many leftovers.  I don’t want brisket again for a long time.  Sorry BBQ lovers, I’m just not hooked on it.

Parmesan crusted chicken breast w/ sautéed spinach. It desperately needed something else. Bland as it gets. Maybe let it marinade. Next time serve me an old leather shoe. I should have joined Hazel at the dog bowl. No offence to Teigen. Spinach was the best part of this meal. I give this a 2.

                Teriyaki bunless chicken burgers.  Yeah this one was a hit.  I mean look at those ingredients.  How could there be anything wrong with this plate.  Makes up for the lack of flavor the night before.  I was genuinely nervous I was going to be fed garbage all week.  What a nice surprise.  On a high note, Bekah gave up the cook book.   I give this a 5.

                Chicken & veggies.  This is one of her go-to meals.  It was actually one of the first things she cooked for me when we started dating many moons ago.  I only know the veggies that go into this meal, not the seasoning.  Diced tomatoes, yellow squash, jalapeño, asparagus, spinach & mushrooms.  I think it’s fantastic.  I give it a 5.

                Prosciutto sage wrapped chicken with a white wine reduction.  Fantastic flavor, though a little salty.  I give this a 4.

                I tried something new on Sunday.  Sweet soy glazed chicken stuffed jalapeño w/ sriracha corn on the cob.  It was delightful.

Cocktail of the Week: Sweet Lemon tea

                Let’s talk music. One of my true passions in life.  Brings happiness to my heart.  I cannot go without it.  And I have a pretty extensive catalog.  You could say that I collect it.  Not one genre for me, I enjoy just about all music. (Excluding most mainstream country, hip-hop, rap, & techno).  My parents gifted me at an early age with good music in the house.  My father was a real music lover and his styles were all over the place.  He liked classical, new age, rock, modern & folk.  I miss making him copies of albums that I enjoyed.  He would call me and we would talk about the music.  He passed onto me a love for music and I can’t thank him enough for it.  And I can’t ignore the influence my mom had on me.  We would watch MTV & VH1 together.  I absolutely loved music videos growing up.  And while my dad wasn’t into pop music, my mom was.  Some of the music from the 80’s I think isn’t very good.  But I still get nostalgic over some of those silly tunes.  So growing up, we had a lot of music in our house.

                I also write & record my own music.  When I was young my uncle gave my father a guitar.  He taught me some chords to play.  It was a fun “toy” at the time, but as children tend to do I eventually grew bored and moved on to other activities.  I ignored the instrument for years, and then in my mid-twenties I reconnected with it.  I found playing guitar to be very therapeutic.  I started out recording only multi-tracked instrumentals.   When I was taking a poetry class in college it seemed that many of the poems I wrote could also accompany the music I wrote.  It became a relaxing hobby.  And I’ve recorded a good deal of songs.  I still enjoy it to this day, though I don’t play as often as I’d like.  But the songs I have recorded are windows to my past that if ever desired I can revisit.  All thanks to music.

                Sharing music with friends is also such a joy.  To relate with someone over song.   And what about that feeling when one of your favorite artist releases new material.  The anticipation leading up to the release.  The excitement when you are first able to give it a spin.  To soak it in.  The different textures you notice on subsequent listens.  Or when you hear a song that’s evaded you for years.  The memories that surge forward in that moment.  The emotions that it evokes.  Goosebumps!  It’s a powerful thing, music. 

                Let me step back a bit.  Not all music is equal, at least to me.  The so called “music” my dear wife plays in the mornings makes me want to cry.  I’ve never been a morning person.  The morning alarm is my enemy.  Always has been.  The struggle I undergo just to pull myself out of bed.  The tremendous effort it takes for me to make it to the coffee.  And once the caffeine begins to bring a little spark to my mind, the realization that I’m only up so I can go to work and spend 8 or so hours listening to a mad Llama speak nonstop hits me like a brick to the head.  It’s heartbreaking.  I sulk on the couch.  Then I hear the beats coming from down the hallway.  Snoop Dog, Drake, 2Pac, NWA, Ice Cube, Nikki Minaj, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony, Deadmaus, & lots of techno…  Those are only the ones I recognize.  What is already a rather torturous moment has now just become nearly unbearable.  I wince to myself and proceed with my day all the while loathing the song that will be stuck with me for hours.  What a way to start the day. 

                It’s not fair of me to say that her morning music makes my ears bleed.  Music is subjective.  What sounds like pots & pans banging together to me might sound like Mozart to someone else.  And while she does listen to abominable music to my morning ears, she does share a lot of the same taste as I do.  I might not like her “let’s get amped!” music, but it’s another thing that makes Bekah, Bekah.  And I wouldn’t ask for anything else.  Besides, maybe it’s my ears that are not as refined because I don’t like rap in the morning?  I mean, Kanye West sales millions of records.  Millions of people can’t be wrong, can they?

 When we began dating I would make her mix CDs, some of which have still survived to this day.  Music was something that we bonded over.  We still have music nights at the house where we don’t have the TV on and we just jam out.  Love those nights.  We play the music that we both like.  The music that brings us together.  That’s one of the fantastic things about music.  Music is for everyone.  And different styles are there for your different moods & settings.  Had a long day at work and want to relax while I cook, let’s hear some piano and strings.  Experiencing road rage because some a** just pulled out in front of me, how about some punk music with heavy distortion.  Feel like punishing myself for past indiscretions, let’s put on some hip-hop.  There is never a moment that I can’t find the right music for my mood.  And if all else fails I can always rely on the Sirius reggae station to never let me down.

What would the world be like without music, I ask?  How would you feel without it?  Think of the times in history where music played an important role.  It’s been a rallying call for soldiers on the battlefields for centuries.  It brought people together in times of trouble.  Stories have been passed down generations through song.  Without it the world would be a different place.  A boring place.  So go listen to some music.  Please play a song that makes you happy.  Because that’s what it’s all about, happiness.

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Jalapeño

Grilled chicken with country gravy topped with my favorite pepper.  I know most people would think this meal should feature fried chicken.  I don’t really care for fried foods.  This is a light alternative.  And really, to my taste, the better way to serve this meal.

Tikka Masala.  I don’t know why I don’t make this more often.  It’s so easy to prepare and it taste so good.  One of two of the Indian cuisines that I know how to prepare.  Maybe I should venture out.

Spaghetti squash w/ spicy meat sauce.  I was going to originally make meatballs but got lazy.  Had my sister-in-law over for dinner.  She seemed really impressed.  I worried that the massive jalapeños I put in the sauce would have been too hot for her.  Does anyone else put jalapeño in spaghetti sauce? 

Chicken Yakitori, which translates to chicken on a stick.  This is the only meal I use chicken thighs with.  I just don’t care for them.  They are too greasy.  This meal is the only exception.  A very good Japanese dish.  I let the chicken marinate in a soy, hoisin, sriracha, ginger mix for 48 hours.  Delicious!  And I’m kind of stuck on roast broccoli. 

 I made pizza!  Kind of hooked on these toppings at the moment.

Cocktail of the Week:  Jalapeño Margarita Martini

                It’s already May and the students have left for the summer.  It feels like they just got back from the winter break.  I don’t know how this year has already slipped almost halfway by.  I suppose the fact that the weather has remained relatively cool might have something to do with it not yet feeling like summer is almost upon us.  We have had a nice period of cloudy days and thunderstorms.  Winter storms in May?  Top temperature in the 50s?  That’s almost unheard of in Texas this time of year. 

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                Everyone is so excited for the summer months to arrive.  I don’t know what the big deal is.  You like being hot & sweaty?  So you like feeling miserable?  Because that what it is to me.  Miserable.  I have to wonder about people that find that alluring.  Do they also like being punched in the eye?  Do they enjoy being stung by bees?  Falling down a stairwell their idea of a good time?  Baking in the summer heat is the equivalent.  Yay to high electric bills!  Yay to high water bills!  What a time to celebrate!  Mosquito bites & sunburns!!!  Hip hip hooray!!! 

I realize this is basically a long winded complaint about my least favorite season.  I’m sorry for that.  I hate complaints.  I hear too many of them all day long. 

                Yes I’m living in the wrong state if its summer I fear.  As stated previously, I love the cloudy skies.  The rain.  Cold weather.  And I have gotten pretty lucky this spring.  It has been a wet one.  Our lakes look like lakes again.  My memory doesn’t recall seeing so much water in Twin Buttes.  The last time they were at this percentage was July 5^th 1993.  Places that I use to spend a lot of time at are submerged.  If only they had practiced some land management.  So many water hazards out there.  It’s still very nice to see, nevertheless.  Saturday morning we got blasted.  Wind damage all over town.  Old tree’s snapped like tooth picks.  Somehow my house got lucky.  All around us: apocalyptic.  Positive note: 2.9 inches of rain.  Most that I’ve measured all year.  See our lake levels go up again.

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                One good thing about summer is the quiet campus.  After the hustle & bustle of the two proceeding semesters, it’s just so nice to have a little silence.  Honestly, it takes a little getting time to adjust.  I can now drive the golf cart across campus worry free.  Most of the year it’s a game of dodging the deaf & blind hooked to tiny computers.  Zombies completely engaged in the devices they carry that they neither see nor hear what surrounds them.  I wish they would disconnect & enjoy the beautiful world they let pass by.  I had an English professor tell me to take a moment out of each day, sit down, and write a little about what you observe either by sight or sound.  Just a small sentence or more.  Every day you will have a moment to take with you.  Memory is an unreliable camera.  Maybe more people should take that moment?   Oh Well.  That’s a rant for another time.

                To those of you that enjoy this dreadful time of year, cheers!  I Hope your deodorant holds up.   I will be cranking my AC & hiding from the sun whenever possible.  If you see me out in it, know that it’s not by choice.  I am probably miserable & day dreaming of temperate climates far from west Texas.  I’m envisioning glaciers in Alaska.  And if I hear you complain about the heat, I will remind you:  YOU wanted this.

                Jalapeño

                Teriyaki chicken w/ pineapple & jalapeño.  I now know how to make leftovers!  Just make a meal so spicy that Bekah can’t finish it.  Walla!!!  Leftovers!  I only used 2 peppers for goodness sake.  I guess this meal falls into the “only eat when Bekah is gone” section of our menu.  Bekah ended up making Mac & Cheese.  Insult to the cook!

                Coconut chicken curry served over broccoli.  I mean, this is just a good dish. 

                Ground chicken Asian style lettuce wraps.  This is only the second time that I’ve cooked with ground chicken.  I’m now looking forward to finding other delicious ways to incorporate it into my diet.

                Italian seasoned blacked pork tenderloin w/ raspberry chipotle sauce & Brussel sprouts.  NO JALAPENO!!!  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it doesn’t need the green pepper.  The sauce is warm enough.

                Beef bulgogi.  This is a HelloFresh meal that my friend gave me.  I was a bit hesitant.  Bekah was excited.  I prefer chicken if I’m having bulgogi.  This was my first time to have ground beef.  It turned out pretty good.  Beef was a little too high of fat content for Bekah.  She said she needed to scrape her tongue after eating.  But it was a hit.  I had to spice it up a bit.  One thing that I’ve learned from meal kits is that they are generally bland unless you add some extra flavor.  I get this.  Provide the basics and let customers determine how much “kick” they want to add.  Most people don’t like their tongues to burn.

Cocktail of the week:  Scotch on the Rocks

The week leading up to my biannual doctor visits always leave me anxious.  My wife and others have said I should have bumped this appointment to an earlier date, but I am stubborn.  I’ve been going through a little bit of a moment with my condition.  For the last 2 months my blood sugar levels have been consistently lower than I am use to.  Dangerously low, depending on whom you ask.  Checked it one morning and it was at 35.  Lowest it’s ever been.  I was alone in the house that morning.  Bekah was out of town.  That was a bit of a scare.  I don’t want to be part of the percentage of type 1 diabetics that die from Dead in Bed Syndrome.  BTW, what an amazing name right there.  Genius!  Dead in Bed Syndrome.  How original.  Lots of heads came together for that one.  Doctor: “He died in his bed asleep?  Hmmmmm???  I got it!!  Let’s call it Dead in Bed Syndrome!!!”  The medical world really knocked it out the park right there.  Pretty tactless.  I’ve got enough sleep related disorders.  Can I please not pass away while in la-la land?  At least not at the ripe old age of 37.

                Had another scare a couple weeks ago at lunch.  Just left Chick-Fil-A and was planning on enjoying just the chicken part of my sandwich when I suddenly got light headed.  Pulled into the baseball parking lot and checked: 47.  It had been at 109 not even thirty minutes prior!!  Well, it was a good thing I ordered a sandwich instead of my usual nuggets.  I scarfed that thing down in record time all the while worrying I was going to pass out.  I also ate a cookie.  While I sat in my car waiting to feel comfortable enough to drive again I had the weirdest sensation.  My lips went numb and tingly.  It felt like the hair on my arms was standing but it wasn’t.  It was all so unpleasant and worrisome.  When I got back to the office my mind was about as far away from work as it could be.  It happened again while in Fredericksburg.  On the way to the wedding it was 48.  Had to eat a bag of skittles. 

                On a positive note:  I have been able to enjoy carbs again without worrying about sugar levels sky rocketing!  I have not been able to really eat fruits for the last 9 years.  Do you want to know what my favorite thing was before I was diagnosed?  FRUITS!!!  Orange Juice!!  Any type of melon.  God I miss cantaloupe.  They smell sooooo good.  When I was growing up a cantaloupe was often our weekend breakfast.  I torture myself in the produce section at H.E.B.  I can’t help but take in the aromas.  If I can’t eat the fruit I sure as hell will smell them.  What a thing to have taken away from you.  Something that you had enjoyed for 28 years.  No longer an option.   

                Okay, I’m being a little dramatic.  I could have always dosed myself with insulin and waited half an hour and gone to town on some delicious fruits.  But who wants to constantly stick themselves with a needle?  And then you have to really monitor your levels which means I’d be stabbing my fingers all day making sure that I didn’t bottom out.  Really takes the fun out of the day, let me tell you. So I just do what is easiest, I abstain.  Begrudgingly. 

                So what going on with me?  My friend Jamie jokes that it’s Llama boy.  Well he is affecting my life in a negative way, that’s for sure.  Driving me absolutely bat s*** crazy.  Shoot me please!   Stress can change blood sugars levels but not as drastically as mine have been.  I wish I could blame the Llama.  Go to HR and claim my life is in danger because of my coworker’s behavior.  Shame.  Either way, Llama boy needs to go.  Pronto!

                So finally my date with the vampires arrived.  And they were hungry!  Nothing like waking up early, skipping breakfast & coffee, seated in a waiting room with people that don’t want to be there only to have the blood drawn from your arm.  And they are vicious, these vampires!  I think mine was a trainee.  She poked and poked and “oh, there we go.”  As if to make it all better, she wrapped my arm in blue & green dinosaurs, offered me a sucker and said have a nice day.  At least I wasn’t at work until nine.  That’s one less hour with Llama.  And I heard that hour was the worst.

                The doctor’s visit.  A week of anxiety reaches its conclusion.  What is wrong with me?  What is my diagnosis?  Well, it appears I am doing TOO good a job at treating my diabetes.  I need to live a little and enjoy some carbs.  Lab results: I’m in good health.  A1C is great.  I need to take less insulin.  As I’m writing this and eating skittles because I’m shaky.  Although I am happy to hear good results, I still clearly am having lows. Something to continue to worry about.  Maybe it will take a while for my system to level out again?  Who knows?  This is my life.

                With that behind me the weekend was here and it turned out to be a fairly lame one.  Bekah was off to Midland to see her mother so I was alone with the children.  I took my mom out for Mother’s Day and she treated herself to a Bahama Mama.  Bekah came home to a nice surprise from Hazel & Owen.  They are such thoughtful children.  And with that the weekend’s over and it’s Monday.  That’s a wrap.

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Jalapeño 

I made some green enchilada chicken.  It’s nice to have spicy foods back on the menu.  This one had a nice mellow heat.  The egg really gave a nice silky texture.  I think it’s simplicity that makes it the perfect Monday meal.

Blacked chicken with a sweet soy reduction & roasted sriracha broccoli.  This was a new one.  I use that sauce pretty frequently on tuna and after this meal I think it’s going to end up on many other dishes. Very simple to prepare, which was great because I spent 2 hours working in the yard and almost passed out form a low.

Caribbean jerk pork tenderloin w/ soy snap peas.  One of Bekah’s favorite meals that I make.  The contrast between the pineapple & jalapeño.  Delicious.  Since my levels have been out of whack I might as well treat myself to a little fruit.  A real treat it was.

Fish taco salad.  Before starting my diet in August this was just tacos.  I actually think I now prefer this rendition.  And the sauces.  Red is habanero.  The white sauce.  Some heavenly blend of spices and Greek yogurt. Perfecto! 

Orange chicken stir-fry.  Something about overcast and cool weather made me crave a Chinese dish.  This one doesn’t have any jalapeño in it.  That’s because it’s loaded with Thai red chilies.  Well, mine is.  Bekah will have nothing to do with them.  She says it feels like acid is burning her throat.  I don’t know how many times she has thought a meal I cooked is inedible.  It’s really just a weakness.  This meal is great in every way. 

Stuffed jalapeños.  What else do I need to say?

Teriyaki steak.  I got high praise for this meal.

I must also mention the chocolate.  I almost killed my wife.  In my defense I had no idea it would be so hot.  Heat warnings on candy are usually a joke.  This had a warning for a reason.  Boy was I wrong is dismissing them.  I’ve had ghost peppers and that is what this chocolate felt like.  Biting into a ghost.  When that heat crept up and took over I was in a state of shock.  Never have I had candy this hot.  I could not stay still.  It was intense.  Bekah had a look of betray on her face when the heat sank in.  Then she started crying.  Tears running down her cheeks while she chugged milk straight from the carton.  It would have been comical had I not also be in a state of despair.  Try at your own risk.

Cocktail of the week:  Crown Sidecar

I’m a mass murderer of butterflies.  All they wanted was that sweet nectar and I gave them instantaneous death by way of speeding vehicle.  It was a slaughter.  They never had a chance.  Attracted to the beautiful wildflowers lining the highway they never saw me coming.  I am sickened with remorse as I write this.  My heart heavy with sorrow.  But their sacrifice was worth the trip to Fredericksburg.

               Getting together for a destination wedding (I guess that’s what this was?) sure was a great time.  This was the first wedding I’ve not been a part of in the last 10 or so year and I was very happy for that.  Being on the sidelines was much more carefree.  Able to really enjoy the festivities.  And we did enjoy ourselves plenty. 

                Friday the weather was wonderful.  The skies dropped 3 inches of rain down on us.  It was so dark and gloomy and I was in heaven.  The weather kept us in for the night so we grilled up some burgers under the covered patio.  I blew my diet for the weekend.  The burger was only the beginning.

                The wedding wasn’t till four on Saturday and that still gave us plenty of time to wonder around and have some fun.  The day was beautiful.  The air refreshed from yesterday’s storms.  Couldn’t have picked a nicer day to get married.  We are an indecisive bunch so no one could pick a place to eat all weekend.  Instead of arguing over where to eat, we just went with what was closest.  This led us to trying some new places out with hit or miss results.  You have so many food options in that town.

                The wedding was nice.  The location exceptional.  The party a blast.  I saw some people I have not seen in years.  That’s one of the great things about weddings.  The people that are reunited and the stories that you reminisce on.  A collective memory sharing tales of the good old days.  We laughed.  We drank.  We had a heck of a time.  I might have had one too many Old Fashions.  Unavoidable with an open bar.  Or is that just me? 

                Sunday came too soon.  We had to be out of the house by 11.  Let me just say that not everyone was moving around very quickly yesterday morning.  Needed to refuel.  We found a Mexican restaurant for Cinco de Mayo.  The food was so-so.  Once revitalized we hit the town again.  It was pointed out that we tend to stay on one side of Main so we ventured across the street.  It was a fun day and we were all saddened to have to leave, but I was happy to get back so we could pick up our babies from the Country Club for Dogs.  Back in the car we go.  Sayonara, beautiful butterflies.

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                Now I’m back at work listening to a lunatic talk about things no one should have to hear on a Monday morning.  I am overjoyed to be here.  I feel blessed!  Happy Monday everyone!!!

                Jalapeño!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Due to the torrential downpour we stayed in and made burgers.  My middle brother did the cooking and I can’t complain.  It’s the first burger that I’ve had on a bun in months.  Delicious carbs, oh how I miss thee.

This burrito was fine.  The sauce?  I would rather drink turpentine.  I don’t know what the creators of this sauce were thinking?  If they actually found enjoyment in this sauce they need to find another means of employment.  Imagine pureed jalapeno, jelly beans, licorice, and fish oil.  That’s the best I can come to explaining the taste.  A sadistic thing to do to someone.  I poured a substantial portion on my first bite expecting my taste buds to sing joyously.  I winced.  I wanted to spew.

Pizza!!!  Is there a more divisive food than pineapple on pizza?  The sweet combined with the spicy is to die for.  I think they belong together.  Like pots & pans.  Like birds & bees.  Like bottles & cans.  This was an excellent pie and I’m happy we happened upon the establishment.  Not pictured is a jalapeño popper dip that was almost too hot for most of the table.  I was in heaven.

The wedding dinner was nice.  Prime rib was perfectly cooked.  Nice little vegetable medley with a light salad. 

Chicken enchiladas.  There was no heat to this meal. It was rather bland. I was disappointed to say the least.  But why did I set my expectations high that a Mexican food restaurant in a German town would serve spicy foods. 

Before leaving town Bekah and I stopped by the Fredericksburg Brewing Company.  We had a craving for the Jalapeño bottle caps.  They did not disappoint.  They had the heat and on a high note we departed.

                Cocktail of the week:  Old Fashion and Lonestar

Oh how hard it’s been.  To abstain from my dear jalapeño.  Due to me cooking one too many meals outside of Bekah’s comfort zone, I surrendered the kitchen to her.  It was a mutual agreement.  She was tired of sweating, panting, and crying over a spicy plate.  I was tired of hearing her cry and complain over a hot plate.  I willingly passed the baton to her.  For just one week.

                It’s true that I have developed a taste for what most people can’t handle.  My dad introduced me to hot sauce at a very young age.  I think he found it funny watching me try and cool the burn with ice cubes.  I’m sure it was a humorous sight.  But ever since I almost require a little heat in my food.   What was spicy then is a mere tingle now.  I need more.  And no I am not an addict.  Capsaicin does not have addictive qualities whatsoever. My body is not physically dependent on heat.  It just craves it.  

Bekah says that not everything needs to be spicy.  Why?  What a silly thing to say!  I think everyone that has that mind set is truly missing out.  An otherwise marginal meal can be enhanced so greatly with a little green pepper.  I am able to taste things other people can’t because they are unable to get around the heat.  Why would I deprive myself?   And it’s not an attempt at being macho.  Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a “macho” man.  I could care less.  I just like my food to bite me back. 

So to blog about Bekah’s food.  Oh is she ever nervous that I’m going to paint a negative picture that she is a horrendous cook and a disaster in the kitchen.  Lots of frowning about it.  In truth, she is a really good cook.  I think she just hates it.

Do most people dislike cooking? Am I the odd duck?  Is the Earth flat?  Why do they make scented toilet paper?  Why does minute rice take 15 minutes to cook?  Does Hawaii have interstate highways?  What rhymes with orange?  Who said Humpty Dumpty was an egg?  What do blind people see in their dreams?  What drugs is the Llama on today?  And who listens to George Strait and why?  I don’t know!

I’m going to rate these meals.  1 being bland as hell. 5 being anything but bland.  I’m probably poking the bear with today’s blog and will be in for some trouble when Bekah reads it.  Wish my dumb a** good luck.

No Jalapeño

                Her first choice was baked salmon and steamed broccoli.  Playing it safe.  This one pretty much cooks itself.  My taste buds were yearning for something with heat and this is about as far from spice as you can get.  Not to say it wasn’t delicious.  A very nice light meal with subtle beauty.  Lemony delicious.  But look at that picture.  Boring?  It sure is!  At least it made up for that in flavor.  I give this a 3.

                Coconut lime chicken.  After a rocky first outing I’m treated with some excellence.  It doesn’t call for red pepper flakes.  “Heaven forbid it be bland” she says.  She sure did tell everyone that she works with that I called her food bland.  I never said that.  My words were twisted.  I’m sure the next work function that I attend with her I will be getting dagger eyes from everyone.    I wasn’t even aloud to try the sauce before it was done.  I was told to stay out of the Kitchen.  Anyway, this meal was exciting and I do want to have it again.  I give this a 5.

               Tonight was originally going to be crab cakes.  Well that didn’t really pan out.  Not all bread crumbs are the same, and the recipe called for Old Bay seasoning which somehow H.E.B. ran out of.    Not happening.  What a blunder.  But oh boy did she salvage this disaster.  She made her Bekah Burgers!  Her Nana’s burger recipe but bunless.  And she put habanero in mine with the intent on causing me harm because I gave her a hard time about the difference between Italian and panko bread crumbs.  I had the runny nose that night.  Although the picture is nothing to behold, this meal was a winner.  I give this a 5.

                The main event!!!  The crab cakes!!!  I’m no connoisseur of crab cakes but I’m pretty sure they are supposed to taste like this.  Salad was a nice touch.  Kind of wish she had thrown some of those leftover habanero into my cakes like she did with burgers the night before.  The sauce she made was great.  Don’t know what you would call it.  I give this a 4.

                And that concludes the Bekah blog.  She got off easy with a 4 day week.  We are off Fredericksburg.

                Cocktail of the week:  Fruity Party Punch

I love to go to the grocery store.  I never leave without getting more than what is on my list.  I shop with a basket.  This generally leads to me testing the weight capacity and integrity of said basket.  I’ve ended up hauling around 50 pounds of groceries and getting an arm workout in the process.  But a basket is a must if I’m to have an enjoyable shopping experience.  The basket allows me to move more freely throughout the store without obstruction.  A frustration avoided.  I dare imagine maneuvering a cart down the bread/condiment aisle.  What a nightmare.

On a standard visit I am in a Zen-like state browsing the aisles for new and exciting things.  Always awaiting the next product to jump into my basket.  Enjoying the music, the people, and the sights.  Occasionally encountering a friend or someone I haven’t seen in years.  We share short pleasantries and continue on with our shopping.  A truly blissful experience.  One that most people fail to appreciate, my wife included.

But things have changed.  Now I seem destined to run into the people I wish to see the least.  If it were just the once, I would write it off as bad luck.  No.  Repeatedly my high spirits are crushed under foot.  My cheerful disposition fouled immediately.   These joyless souls intent on making everyone else as miserable as they.  What once was a carefree stroll through the aisles is now an anxiety-ridden rush to make it out alive.  How have these people ruined one of the great joys of my life and what am I to do about it? 

Do I choose to do my shopping elsewhere and pray for the best?  Give up my stomping grounds?  Let the negative nellies win?   You bet I’m not!!!!!    No option is defeat!  Next time I run into one of the wretched rubbish I will be so obnoxiously uplifting that they are shaken by my joy.  I will combat unhappiness with happiness.  Perhaps next time they will be the ones avoiding me.  Maybe they will find a new place to shop.  Bring their unwanted misery elsewhere.  I will not stand for it!  I will persevere!!! 

At least I better.  Bekah sure as heck will not be shopping for groceries and I guess we will starve. 

Jalapeño

I was trying to mimic a meal from one of my favorite places to dine.  I screwed up by substituting jalapeño bacon for applewood bacon.  Pepper jack cheese, over green chilies.

Teriyaki filet mignon with some sriracha asparagus.  A real treat.

HEB stuffed salmon w/ broccoli jalapeño cheese.  If you haven’t noticed, I also use a lot of sriracha sauce.

A divisive meal. This was an experiment that I really enjoyed.  Lots of the same ingredients that go into King Ranch Chicken.  Bekah said, and I quote: “This is too hot!  It’s the f***ing jalapeños!  How many did you use?”  Well I used five.  A little dramatic.  I’m apparently trying to kill my wife.  I thought I was showing some restraint.  I told her she can cook all next week and we can have bland food.  At least I liked this meal.

Chicken Spaghetti Squash.  And yes, I threw jalapeños in this against great protest.  The argument being you can’t put jalapeños in Italian food.  Says who?

Jalapeño bacon wrapped BBQ chicken. Much better use of the bacon. 

Korean BBQ ribs & kimchi.

Cocktail of the week:  Blushing Pina Colada