Accepting the End Of A Marriage & Moving On. A Valentines post.

I was invited to a very great Super Bowl party to my girlfriends parents. They had a great spread. I really didn’t have any stakes in the game but I was going for KC. All I wanted was a good game and by god did we get one. This was the first SB game I’ve gone out for in a long time and I couldn’t have been happier. KC won and I was the only one going for them which made the win so much greater.

Relationships are interesting. After 14 years with one person it’s strange at times. Is it a trail? I don’t know. I might be thinking too fast. I’m happy and I have deep feelings. We both do. We bounce off each other with grace. It’s nice to find that in someone. Twice in life. Some people don’t find it once.

I dated after my ex wife left me. I had a few good and some bad. Dating at 40 is a different game. I never thought I’d be doing it. I’m out of touch. There was one person I kept coming back to. Our first date( which she says wasn’t a date but I do) was a lot of fun. It was a sloppy mess on my part. The place we were suppose to eat wasn’t even opened so I made last min changes across the street. It is a great memory. I already liked her. I found her attractive when I was married. I would never do anything. I was married. You can’t deny attraction but you don’t have to act upon it. I am not a cheater. Never. We went on many of dates since the divorce. I had dates with other people in between. I kept coming back to her. She made me happy. Did I have the luck? I think so. I wish I had kissed her sooner.

I never wanted my marriage to end. I loved my ex wife. I meant my wedding vows when I said them. I miss her. She was my best friend. We had our time and it ended. I was a television version of a person with a broken heart. I would have fought to keep us. I hold nothing against her. I wish she had not blocked all communication with me. Cheap immature thing to do. I don’t understand that attack. She cheated on me and I was still willing to be her friend. Now I have found someone else. Someone that pulls my heart strings and excites me. I’m happy. Life is weird. I think I’d probably still be upset with my failed marriage had she not cheated on me. I never vilified her for that. Our marriage was dead. She did what she had to do. I forgive her. I wish we could still be friends. Long time to be with someone and they exit your life. Moving forward has been interesting. I think I might have found the person of my dreams.

I’ve often thought about being alone in the last 2 years. I thought I could do it. I met someone and I realize all over again that I don’t want to be alone. I’ve found someone that keeps me up at night just thinking about. I don’t know what humans are meant to be. I just know that after nearly dying I’m not backing away from my feelings for someone when they arrive. Marbles on glass and thinking too fast. Don’t run from your own feelings.

Valentines I went a good ways out. I wanted it to be a special night. Candle light dinner and a good home cooked meal. Some wine. A movie.

About that movie…. I’ll be honest, it was utter trash. Rubbish. Acting was top notch awful. I would rather watch someone constipated try and take a shit for an 1 1/2 than sit through that again. Pretty sure she liked it. Blah. Romantics. It was fun nonetheless. Just wait till she gets to see some of the weird stuff I watch. Haha.

There is not safety in love. It’s always scary but one has to put their feet in the water. I’m doing that now.

Jalapeño

Brunch on Saturday. Potato, sausage, scrambled eggs and gravy.

Lasagna and rolls.

Eggs Benedict with chorizo, chipotle hollandaise sauce and hash browns. I miss making brunch.

Super Bowl party fajita and much more. Boy do my girlfriends parents know how to cook.

Took the Monday after Super Bowl off and made a chorizo egg breakfast taco with an avocado mousse.

Carry out pizza.

Valentines romantic dinner for two. Steak with balsamic reduction & feta crumbles. Air fried lobster, caprese salad, prosciutto wrapped asparagus and loaded baked potato. Served with wine, of course.