Liberate Me From My Mind

My life is in a shadow. I dwell, hidden in the gloom. That’s how I feel. Perfect. I needed a mental health day Monday so I took it. Only f***ing myself because I’ll have worked piled up but I just couldn’t. It was nice and gloomy. Cool for August. I had things I could do but I just couldn’t. So I posted on a barstool in the kitchen and watched the neighborhood for a while.

Eventually is began to rain. I decided to drive around and listen to it. I ended up at the lily pond. It was beautiful and therapeutic. The pond director had recently passed away and it was a little sad. I’ve seen his face so many times over the years. You could sort of see the ponds were in a bit of neglect. Where can I volunteer.

Tuesday arrived and it was another mental health day. Sometimes you just need it. I was as unproductive as I could be. It was watermelon day. I enjoyed and brought someone some watermelon. The weather was still nice. A rare cold front in August. I wish it would stick around all month.

I’ve run myself to ground. Old dreams are breaking now. Wednesday I pulled my big boy pants on and dragged my happy a** to work. It was Janine’s birthday. She had a surprise. Toys from me & cake from Jamie. . We tried to show her she is part of the family. I guess it moved her. She hadn’t had her birthday celebrated at work. I tried to get people involved. Thanks everyone. She deserved it. Especially covering for me the last 2 days when she didn’t and shouldn’t have done so. Leroy should have filled those boots. Of course the cake was great. Jimmy. He wouldn’t shut up. 20’questions. He also told me before I made it in the office that he had not had a solid shit in 3 days. That’s lovely. Just what I want to hear. Great. Great. Wonderful. “Don’t tell anyone!” Of course I told everyone.

I woke up a little over 20 min before I needed to be at work on Thursday. I made it on time somehow. Which is funny because I’m never on time. Seemed to the the trend for the day. I wasn’t the only “stupid boy” running late. It happens. And we boys are stupid. I could lecture all day on how stupid I am. I own up to my faults and mistakes. Hey man, it makes me who I am. What a boring f***ing world it would be if everyone and everything was perfect. Am I right?

Played shuttle boy again. All in all I think that shuttle service blew away a good hour of my day. You see it’s like being caught in a web when we do these runs. She likes to talk & we are out of the office so we rarely complain. We complain to each other but that fair game. All about the pencils that she really didn’t need but in her head it was all dire straits. Needy people, let me tell you. I got to visit with Chomper though.

I went to see a somewhat “mentor” of mine only to be shown his new hair cut. Bald. Not by choice. He seems optimistic. It was a gut punch and I wasn’t expecting it. What a f***ing week. I told him having no hair in the summer is great!! It’s so much cooler. He said his head is cold in the buildings. I countered that it’s liberating not having to mess with in the mornings. He just isn’t used to it yet. Empathy.

Friday and it was burritos. I woke up confused. The morning powwow was entertaining. We bashed Hawaii for some reason. I have no reason to bash Hawaii but I rolled with it. It was good needed laughs. I left in high spirits. The rest of the day was busy and fun. I took Yvette across the campus to check out what was being auctioned. She was unsupervised. She isn’t on the east side often. We thought about snagging a drink. That’s pretty much my f***ing week. Summed up.