Dream Myself Awake

I have NOT been sleeping. That insomnia I’ve talked about? It’s making it’s self known again. My eye has twitched for at least a month. Lovely, let me tell you. If I seem foggy brained it’s because I am. If I do not remember a conversation it’s because the off button was hit. I’ve been the walking dead. I might not appear it, but I put on a good show. Look close next time you see me. Look at that left eye. Maybe you will catch a twitch. Ugh.

What do you do, you ask? You just f***ing go with it is what you do. I have a sleep cocktail? It puts me down but doesn’t keep me down. Drinking? Questionable. I have narcotics the doctor supplies me with for these troubles. Do I take them? No. I don’t want to be reliant on them. From prior experience, once you go down that road you can’t find dreamland without them. I’ll admit to popping one out of dire frustration. You do what you gotta do. You would think I’d crash out of pure exhaustion but that’s not the case.

I have had dreams in which I’m viewing myself from above sleeping. They are the most peaceful yet disturbing dreams ever. I say disturbing because who wants to see themself drooling on a pillow. And because it’s just not happening!!! I’m not sleeping!!! The dreams are taunting me. It’s just cruel!! Is my subconscious just having a good laugh? Mean b******.

Cure this eye twitch.

The week started off with a surprise, bad weather. I was looking at the radar thinking WTH. Where did this come from. Suddenly the weather radio goes crazy barking at us and all sorts of alerts pop up. My phone told me to seek shelter I was going to die so I decided to be a little late going into work. I drove in the rain and eventually went home to wait it out. We didn’t actually ever get anything but a nice gloomy morning and some much cooler temperatures. Rolling thunder was a relaxing background noise to enjoy. Nice light sprinkles. It was peaceful for a Monday morning.

My office was also treated to a cake thanks to Jamie. Bruce wanted one for his sweet tooth and she came through. Made Janine’s morning. She was trying to start a diet and just had a single hard boiled egg for breakfast and she was treated to delicious cake. Pretty funny how that happens. Heathen coworker cut into before I could get a proper picture. Beast. Moving paper comes with a heavy price.

By the end of the day we finally got some rain. Once again, unexpected. But it came down and out of the East. It thundered & lightninged. Weather radio went crazy again. . It was beautiful. It was measurable. Bekah was irritated because we had started a movie and I bailed out of excitement. I’m sorry, you can pause a movie but not a storm.

I’m still adjusting to Jimmy being back at work. It hasn’t been a month yet and he was pretty much gone for 8 months caring for his wife. I feel his grief for her, it’s palpable in the office. But the change he brings to the office. It’s noisier. It’s stinkier. I’ve already had to type 911 in Jabber for a rescue call. ALREADY!! Poor guy, but I just can’t on some days. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy…. “Eye’s rolling out of my f***ing head”.

For a week stuck in the office, the weeks I hate the most, it was actually pretty great. I was able to escape a few time and visit with friends across campus. I couldn’t complain. After work the plan was to hit the couch after dinner and watch a new horror film that was released on this date. Take it easy because we have a lot to do Saturday. Well, Bekah had other plans and hit the bar for almost 3 hours. Adjustments made, we still hit the couch and watched that movie. Cheers!!!

Jalapeño

Chilaquiles verdes. Oh my lord I over did it. Carb overload. The meal itself was amazing. Probably could have used one egg, in retrospect. I was a bloated mess. Sooo good.