A F***ing Week

The week was long. Too long. It was dragging its heels. By the time Friday arrived I was done. Let us talk about the days of the week, shall we.

What is the best day of the week? Let’s start by establishing the worst days. Clearly we can all agree that Monday is the worst. You have to get back to work or school (or maybe not, you could be well-off our unemployed, in which case every day is either perfect or really f***ing miserable). Only time Monday isn’t bad is when you have it off, which turns it into Sunday and Tuesday into Monday. Confusing? That’s a different conversation. Let’s just keep it basic. Most Mondays are the start of the week and a pain in the a**. People that like Mondays are psychopaths. Watch out of those scary f***ers.

So what day follows? Sunday or Tuesday? Tuesday is Monday lite, am I right? It’s like the difference between cottage cheese and sour cream. They are both terrible but one is clearly worse. Tuesday is the sour cream. It’s a little better than Monday, but really only a little. At least Monday is behind you but the weekend is far off on the horizon. But let’s talk about Sunday, the cottage cheese. Yes, you still have a day away from work. But do you really have a day where you can do whatever you would like? Sunday is often the day of chores. In fact, by its very nature that is work. Maybe just as annoying because you have so many fun things you could be doing but no, you are doing laundry, cleaning house, doing the yard, etc. Also, the fact that the next day is Monday is forever on your mind. Work is ever looming over your shoulder. As the hours tick on by, the shadow grows ever larger and darker. By the time you hit the hay, Sunday has become nothing but another work evening. You have to set your alarm and hope for some shut eye so that you can somewhat function the next morning. I vote that Sunday is the second worst day of the week. In my head I can’t kick the thought that I have to get up and go to work the next day. What if I wake up and suddenly feel the urge for day drinking? Well, I probably shouldn’t do that because I will only be making Monday all the worse. (I have done this and it is much worse.)

Wednesday and Thursday and very equal in my book. They are the transitional days of the week. You feel like you’ve got this. You’ve grabbed the week by its balls and have total control. Walking out of the office Wednesday a smile settles over your face knowing only 2 days remain and you are home free. My god, you have almost made it. It’s a rather special feeling. The pains are likely behind you. It’s time to put on cruise control and coast joyously into the weekend. Freedom from the constraints that bind us are just around the corner. We like to call Thursday “Friday Eve” on campus. It just makes the day feel better referring to it as that.

So it’s between Friday & Saturday. I think 6 months ago I would have said Saturday was my favorite day of the week, but amidst all this COVID bulls*** I can’t really do anything. I spend my day at the house. Maybe go to one of the parks around town for the 100^th time since March. Oh boy, let’s order carry-out again and pretend we are dinning out. Maybe pop open a beer with my lunch? What else do I have on the agenda for the day that’s stopping me? A big NOTHING!!! My Saturdays have become monotonous. Well, there is the one constant: FaceTime with Slovak. That can get dangerous. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy Saturdays. But they are no longer the best day. If things ever get back to normal it will likely regain its title. As of right now that belongs to Friday!

After the hustle and bustle of the week when Friday arrives everything just feels better in life. You can’t not be in better spirits on a Friday. You have made it. You conquered. You are the winner. The jubilation one feels when 5 o’clock rolls around on a Friday. You are finally free from the oppression that is work until the dreaded Monday rolls back around and veers it’s ugly head. I think the fact that I can finally relax is what puts Friday at the top. Why I consider it the best day of the week.

Now that that’s been established I just want to talk about how we were teased with rain all week long. We got a vicious lightning and thunderstorm Monday but no f***ing rain to accompany it. I was not a happy camper. I need rain. We need rain. Putting a percentage in the forecast and not getting any is depressing. Especially when you can visually see the thunderstorms in the distance ever afternoon. Really, it’s just outright rude. So on top of a long f***ing week, I had rain dangled in front of my nose like a steak in front of a dogs. What a bummer, man. If you couldn’t tell, I’m still bitter over it. Maybe this evening I will surprised.