Despairing Departures

I’m saturated with joy that this is the last week I’ll be receiving “dumb dumb” e-mails from my dear friend. Her departure warms my heart immensely. I want to celebrate. I want to dance. 14 months of e-mails. How will I fill this hole in my life? I don’t yet know. I might miss the ones that were nothing more than OMG without any explanation why. The multiple ones asking the same question, but just on another day. The ones supposedly asking a question but seemingly not. Will I miss the chance encounter? Conveniently showing up somewhere I always am at a certain time of day. The awkward invasion of personal space. Will I miss tip-toeing into an office for fear of giving away my presence and not being able to chat with my friends because someone will know that I am around and butt their heads into the conversation? Giggles and big smiles when I said nothing funny at all no matter how many times I flashed my wedding ring? Only time will tell. In truth, she was only ever kind to me. Maybe I’m the a**hole, but she creeped me out. Goodbye, dear friend. Unfortunately I will not be around on your last day. May all your future endeavors be lucrative. May your husband seeking days prevail!!

I’m not feeling too inspired today. I had something I was going to write about but it kind of fizzled out. So…

Stray observations & assorted musings:

Never once have I seen someone yell at a postal worker and have it turn out in their favor.

Parking under that shade tree will keep your car cooler but it might also get s*** on.

Eating burritos every morning isn’t a diet.

Do Millennials even know what the pound key is? In the future will automated services tell you to “hit the hashtag key”?

Some people are just stupid. Once you accept this it makes them easier to deal with.

You know what I wish right now. I wish I was under water and all the noise around me was muted. Under water I would be free of all this jibber jabber

What kind of person enjoys the flavor of artificial grape? Furthermore, what kind of person enjoys a cigarette that taste like artificial grape?

I have a personal policy against the band Queen. I also have a personal policy against football games. You know what come hand in hand? Football & Queen! Is this a coincidence? NO WAY!!! “We Will Rock You” has to be one of the worst songs ever recorded in the history of music.

Does anyone else feel sorry for the tree when it’s cut down?

People are generally unhappy until they get what they want.

If complaining is your only mode of conversation, what would you have if everything went the way you wanted it?

Is an unlawful hand gesture a worthy reason to be pulled over or is it a waste of resources better used elsewhere?

I hate wearing jeans in the summer. I feel miserable in them. The first thing I do when I get home is put on shorts. I know my work attire is pretty casual, but what I would die to wear shorts to work. And sandals. I wear my sandals when it’s 30 degrees outside. They are year round. I want to wear them to work.

Metamorphosis is so f***ing cool.

Of all the summer camps, band camp has to be the best. No competition. Sarcasm.

Cottage cheese has the same consistency as vomit so why is it always in my fridge?

I miss Anthony Bourdain.

Do you consider Sunday the beginning or the ending of the week?

When you lose track of time, does time lose track of you?

Jalapeño!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So three meals of zachos. That is zucchini nachos. I have a zucchini “pusher” in case you forgot and my supply isn’t dwindling. So you thinly slice the zucchini and microwave them in batches for 15 min on 50% until they are lightly browned and crisp. I salted mine just a bit to give them flavor. I tried three different toppings: steak, chicken & ground beef. I would rank the chicken first, steak gets second, while beef is third. All three were good though. I love nachos almost as much as I love pizza. They have their similarities if you think about it. Both are covered with cheese and can be topped with various ingredients to make them unique. Because of the carbs I can’t really enjoy them all that often. This was a nice fix for that problem. Highly recommended for those looking for a lighter spin on a fantastic dish.

Sesame chicken with sriracha zucchini. I used some red chilies on this one and it was very warm. 10 pepper hot!!! Bekah thought I was insane, but what’s unusual about that. It’s not like I didn’t just eat ghost for a week. This was warm, but not even comparable. Turned out to be a very good meal.