Call me an Imbecile

I was out of my mind. Bekah was doing a diet last week so I was left to my own devices. I thought: “Gee Wally, what should I cook for myself?” Eureka!!! Let’s incorporate ghost peppers into each meal!!! Who in their right mind does such a thing? I do. So next time you see me feel free to let me know I’m absolutely positively nuts. Or just plain stupid. I’ll let you make that decision. Heck, maybe I’m both.

Cooking multiple meals with ghost isn’t something I’ve tried before. I was planning on having a week with habanero’s and then I found the ghost by accident. My warped mind immediately lit up with joy. After ingesting that peanut… I mean, that changed my definition of spicy. I basically dropped a hydrogen bomb into my freaking mouth. Felt Death’s fingers on my shoulder urging me to give in and follow him into the afterlife. Whispering sweet relief. I refused to acknowledge the jerk.

Ironic that I just so happen to do this on the hottest week we have had this year.

That 100 degree mark. It hurts me. Convenient that Friday was the first official day of summer. You should see the lot that I have to cross in order to reach my car after work. At a casual pace it takes me 2 min. It feels like a mile when the sun is beating down upon you from above and the heat’s radiating off the pavement from below. By the time my coworkers and I finally reach our vehicles we all look broken. Looks of despair upon our faces. Relief is not yet in sight, for the temperatures within our cars far exceeds what’s outside. Easily over 130. Our A/C can’t cool quickly enough. By the time I reach my house, which isn’t far mind you, I think a part of me has died. The knowledge that I will be repeating this sadistic ritual the following day is almost a worthy enough reason to make myself a drink. Yay summer, everyone!!! Yay summer……….

I took some time off work on Thursday to run important “errands”. I was very productive and the feeling of accomplishment was on the verge of being overwhelming. Boy oh boy. Who knew I could get so much done in just 2 hours. I was literally all over town. Astonishing. By the way, did I mention the USA vs Sweden women’s world cup game? Yeah, USA won. Hear it was a pretty amazing match. Sad that I was SO busy I missed the game. Wink wink.

The weekend finally arrived. The weekend of the slumber party. I needed to mentally prepare myself for what was sure to be an exhaustive time. What better than going to the Civic League Park. This has always been one of my favorite places in town. I have been exploring the park since I was a little kid. If I ever want to be put in a good mood I need look nowhere else. I just wondered around for a little while. The lilies are beautiful this time of year.

So the slumber party. Bekah still has those. This time it was at our house. Our Slovakian friend, Maja pronounced “My-a”, was sleeping over. Before she arrived I was told to buy a bottle of cucumber vodka & the ingredients to make bun less burgers that I was supposed to cook for them. Glad I waited till Saturday to go shopping for diner because minutes before I left for the store she changed her mind and wanted me to grill shrimp and make squash & potato salad. Demanding! I clearly had the squash part covered but not the shrimp. I asked her in return to bring me some pizza from this place in Christoval, where she lives. At first she said no, but after giving her guilt she finally said yes. Only stipulation was that it had to have mushrooms just in case she wanted to try it. My eyes were rolling. Whatever. The pizza was very tasty.

After briefly snacking on the pizza, I took them out for lunch. While they had food and LOTS of drinks I got to watch some more World Cup. Roughly 4 hours later it is time I take them back to the house. Adult slumber parties are an interesting concept. I would say it’s really just a way to drink safely and not have to worry about going anywhere. Being that they are both ex-bartenders, lots of cocktails were attempted. I say attempted because about a third of each drink mixed ended up on my counter and floors. Slavic said you never forget how to bartend while spilling her mix all over the place. I was laughing very hard at this. It was pretty hilarious. They sang. They danced. They giggled and fell down. And guess what they didn’t do? EAT THE SHRIMP I BOUGHT!! They decided to eat my dinner, which was the leftover pizza. I come into the kitchen to see that they were generous enough to leave me a slice. So kind. Then it was time for Skip-bo. Bekah’s favorite card game. The thing is, Slavic was WAY to incapacitated to understand the rules. After an hour of struggles, the game was abandoned for more music and dancing. They tried in vain to make it to midnight but both fell asleep about an hour shy. What a night. They plan on repeating again in a few months.

Sunday morning I had some rough looking women in our house. Time for brunch! Eggs, jalapeño poppers, and some sparkling wine. The dour dispositions of my wife and friend quickly faded into an animated optimistic morning. All was once again balanced and they could move ahead with some pep in their step. Bekah had a little too much “hair of the dog”. She purchased a swimming pool and slept the majority of the afternoon. Monday she said that her “Check Liver” light was on. I needed to come back to work for rest.

Ghost Pepper!!

Ghost ginger soy chicken legs. I guess I had a look of anguish. Bekah asked if it was hot. Yes! What gave it away? The fact that my nose was running or that I was red as the pepper I ate? Was it because I looked feverish? Pretty great meal. I’ll make this again without ghost.

Ghost queso burger. And yes I doubled down with jalapeño as well. I don’t know why I’ve never put queso on a burger before. The picture might look boring but the taste was great. And it wasn’t even unbearably hot.

Sweet chili chicken with ghost. So this was the meal that I was worried about. Who makes a meal that they worry about eating advance of preparation? Morons, that’s who. To quote myself after finishing the meal “my god no.” Snotty nosed and probably beat red, I had good reason to fear this one. 10 min later and I found myself in a calm state of euphoria. Or was it that I somehow finished 4 beers trying to wash dinner down? Who can say?

Salmon croquettes. Yes I did put a ghost in there. Not the most appetizing looking meal, I know. This is my mother’s recipe, sans ghost chili. She would probably be appalled to hear what I’ve done here. It was pretty damn hot.

I don’t have a name for this meal. Jamie has given us so many squash that I’m just throwing things together and making things up. Squash, onion, red bell, jalapeño, chicken, ghost, and leftover cheese from the queso burgers. What a great meal. The cheese gave it a nice creamy texture and enhanced what would otherwise still been a great mix. Making this again.